Week One Report :-)

While Sergey is here for the month, we are required to fill out weekly reports for our hosting agency: height, weight, likes/dislikes, new experiences, etc. They want to make sure that each of the children is thriving, and we have to regularly report in to let them know how the kids are doing.  As we arrive at one week today, I had the thought that doing a weekly report of my own might be a good idea, to be able to look back on as the years go by, to see where we have been, where we are going, etc.  I want to remember each and every experience we have - we missed almost 16 years and I want to remember everything from here on out.  At this point, I am thinking I will post these "reports" on here, as I know that so many of you are eager to know how things are going, and are such a deep, deep part of our love for Sergey.  If at some point it feels like these are too personal and that I shouldn't share, I will keep them private, but for now I'd love to share with you all how things are going.

We picked Sergey up from Dulles on Tuesday night. His plane was delayed by almost five hours, so it was quite late by the time we finally got to see him. Unfortunately, we were all (there were about 20 other families there picking up their host kids as well) at the wrong gate. By the time we realized this, the kids had already arrived and were walking down the main hallway.  Someone said that they saw them coming, and so I took off.  I will honestly never forget seeing his head peeking up above the crowd as they came towards us, looking for us, and then catching his eye and seeing the smile on his face.  I ran to hug him, and then let go so the kids (who were right behind me) could hug him as well.  We had to wait a few minutes for Clint, who was ensuring that we would actually make it home that evening by gathering up the wallets, keys, purses, etc. that we all had left when we took off running :-).  I am so grateful for my husband :-).  My heart was so full once Clint got there and we were all together - you can probably tell by the smile on my face in this picture taken moments later :-).

Together.

We checked in with the chaperone and then he was all ours for an entire month.  A month to love him, enjoy him, have fun with him, feed him, play with him, and get to know him better.  Sadly, though, there is always an undercurrent of sadness, at least for me.  It's also only a month.  A month at the end of which he will leave us again.  I keep trying to push that truth down, and most of the time I am successful, and able to enjoy this gift we have been given.  However, it peeks its ugly head up every once in a while, and threatens to steal my joy - I am praying hard for God to allow me to live in the moment and treasure each one for the gift it is. I think part of treasuring those moments will be writing these weekly blogs :-).

Getting into the car, as a whole family, felt right on so many levels.  Whenever he is here, it always feels like he has always been here, and it is almost impossible to imagine that one year ago we had never even met him.  He fit right back in, and as we turned on the Zac Brown Band on the way home, it honestly felt like he had never left.  I hope that is the case for him - that he feels at home, and feels the complete part of our family that he truly is.  I can only pray that is true.  The only struggle, beyond the knowledge that we only have one month, is the communication thing. Imagine that you have a child that you have sent off to college.  You go to pick them up for their visit home, but you can't talk to them and they can't talk to you.  You want to know everything about their time away - have you missed us? have you made friends?  how is school going?  tell me about your girlfriend, the food, your roommates, your teachers, the weather, anything and everything that you can tell me.  And let me tell you all about how desperately we  have missed you, how many people are doing everything they can to bring you here, how we think about you every minute you are not here.  How much we have been longing for this month, and even more so how much we are longing for the day when you are home for good.  And as you probably know, I am a talker, so this is especially hard for me ;-).  Pray for me - that I would be patient, and rest in the knowledge that we are all in God's hands, and that no matter what I can communicate to Sergey or what he is able to say to me, that God loves him more than I do or ever will.

Okay, on to the fun stuff :-).  We crashed as soon as we got home Tuesday night, and since it was past 1:00 am, we let the kids sleep in just a little later and then drove them into school.  We had a pretty chill day since it was just us at home. When we went to pick up Sam after school, it was so precious to see how crazy excited he was to see Sergey again (even from the night before).  He came running up to hug him, and was absolutely beaming.  On Thursday we went to have lunch with him at school, and got the same reaction.  I don't think I've ever before seen that particular combination of joy, excitement, and pride on my youngest son's face.  It was so beautiful.  His friends' parents (and sweet teacher) all told me how thrilled his friends were to see him at school - how Sam talks about him all the time and they were so excited to meet him.  It was so cute how several of them said that they were surprised at how he looked.  I think they all thought he would somehow look very different, but he really just looks like a Dowda :-).

Brothers :-).

We continued on our gathering route, and went to pick up Olivia at her school (Veritas, a private Classical Christian school down in the North side of the city).  She asked if Sergey would come and meet her friends as they were all heading to their cars, and her friends were so excited to meet him that Sam and I literally heard the yelling from our car :-).  Since she didn't start attending that school until this fall, no one there had ever met him, so it was super special for her to get to introduce them to her brother-to-be, and they were so thrilled.

We completed our route by picking up Harry at CMS, and all of his friends either ride the bus home or stay after for practice, so they would have to wait to see him again (although several did send notes of greeting with Harry to the airport :-).  Both Wednesday and Thursday after school were a glorious time of living life together - playing outside, making and eating dinner together, doing homework, reading our Advent readings, playing games, doing puzzles, and just being together.   Wednesday night we went swimming up at Burkwood, which was super fun.  Thursday after having lunch at CSES with Sam, we brought him home (with his teacher's blessing :-), and gave Sam a chance to have Sergey all to himself.  They played basketball, soccer, and frisbee, and then we all went up to Three Lakes Park and played there. The weather was gorgeous and we had such a great time - I cannot put into words what it does to my heart to watch these boys play together, and to watch Sergey start to really relax and enjoy himself.  He managed to tip the duck all way back to touch the ground (see below) - neither Sam nor I could get close :-).  He also did about a million pull-ups on the bar in about a minute, and threw a frisbee better than I can even though he had never done it before.  His sheer athleticism will truly never cease to amaze me, and if you have seen him play any sports you know what I mean.

Look at that effort :-).

Once Harry got home it was back outside for more basketball and frisbee, this time with our "other son" (our dear neighborhood friend), who was so happy to have Sergey back (as you can tell from the picture below :-).  Thursday night all the boys went to Sam's basketball practice and Olivia and I did the last minute shopping for school Christmas parties and then watched Downton Abbey. It was perfect :-).

Love.

Friday is Clint's day off, and we had the special privilege of having Vladimir for the day.  He and his sister are being hosted by friends of ours, and as they had to work we got to keep him for the day.  He and Sergey played FIFA on the Xbox (once Sergey finally got up :-), and had a great time together.  It was funny to see how teenage boys everywhere interact the same way - not much talking, lots of playing, and lots of love for video games :-).  Our friend Emmanuel came over to visit with us (he is a friend who we met when Sergey first came last year who moved here from Ukraine about 12 years ago, and is married to a wonderful woman and has two adorable little boys) to help us talk to Sergey.  I will not go into all the personal details that we discussed with him, but I will say that we talked about adoption a bit more and were very encouraged :-).  Sergey (despite having a girlfriend :-), definitely still wants to come live with us permanently, and said that his aunt is happy for him to come be a part of our family.  Again, not to go into too many details, but I will say that this is very good news and makes me super happy - we are praying that we will be able to keep up that relationship and allow him to have some strong ties to the beautiful nation that he was raised in, even as he comes to join us here.  Please pray for our relationship with her, that she would trust us and like us :-), and that it could be one of great blessing for everyone involved. I truly believe it will be.

After Emmanuel left, Clint took the boys to the pool and I went to Sam's Christmas party.  I think he was sad that I didn't bring Sergey, but I felt like it might be just a little too much.  For any of you who have been to a preschool or elementary school holiday party, that statement needs no explanation.  Clint instantaneously volunteered to miss the party and take the boys to Burkwood - I am certain that it is always just a little too much for him :-). I, on the other hand, LOVE them, and it was so fun to get to see all of my friends and all of Sam's friends. It was very hard for me to believe that it would be my last holiday party ever - they don't really do them in middle school or high school ;-) - so I tried to soak up every minute of it.  It's amazing to me how there are always doors closing and new doors opening in our lives all the time - life is such a mixture of sadness and joy.

The classic class party game, blowing a cotton ball across the room :-).

Friday Olivia went home with a friend, and went to her first dance/party at her new school. I was sad to miss out on seeing her get ready/take pictures/etc, but she had an incredible time and it was so fun to hear all about it.  Again, I think you can tell how much fun she had from the picture below :-).  At home, we bagged shoes and took them to the storage unit (I know, what a surprise :-), and had homemade pizzas for dinner.  After dinner we went up to Burkwood and played tennis and ping pong. I know I keep bragging on Sergey and his athleticism, but I promise I am not exaggerating when I tell you that he is the most natural tennis player I have ever seen in my life.  A sweet aside that some of you may not know: When you decide to host a child through New Horizons for Children (an experience that I will be SOOO "suggesting" to everyone I know, for the rest of my life ;-), you go to their website and there is a photo-listing of all the available children. There is a picture, and a quick bio, made up of just a few sentences.  When we were trying to make the decision, a little over one year ago, I was reading through the bios, looking at all of those sweet faces, wondering how on earth we would ever make this decision.  One of the things that the interviewers asked the children was "what would you like to learn?"  I got goosebumps all over when I read Sergey's - he said he wanted to learn tennis :-).  (For those of you who might not know, I teach tennis for a living :-).  I am pretty sure tennis is not super popular in Ukraine, and of all the things to pick it is so funny that he chose to say tennis.  And then even more funny that in about a year I think he will be teaching me :-).  Truly, though - you need to come see this kid play.  His topspin is beautiful, there is NO ball he cannot get, and you cannot get it past him at the net.  I officiated and the boys and Clint played doubles - it was so much fun.

My girl :-).

After tennis we went upstairs and saw that they put in ping-pong tables at Burkwood - SCORE.  Ping-pong is one of the things that Sergey has done before, and he is (as my boys would say) BEAST at it.  After having to watch other people play most of the night, I finally got my chance to play.  He beat me every game, but I did get pretty close a few times, and was very proud of myself.  Last winter when he was here we played a bunch when we were at the beach (pic below), and I forgot how much fun it was to play with him.  There is a level of communication that takes place when you play a sport with or against someone, especially when they are really good :-), that transcends language, and I LOVED it :-).

OBX Christmas 2012

Saturday we hung out here until it was time to go to the drive-in movie.  By the way, if you live in the Richmond area and have not been, you must go.  It is awesome.  We got there way early to make sure we got a spot, since we were going with our church's youth group and would have a bunch of cars.  There was a car-decorating contest, so we got right to work decorating the cars and playing soccer/disk-dunk/football.  It was 70 degrees out and just amazingly beautiful.  We had such a great time, watched Elf and Frozen, and WON the decorating contest (1st AND 2nd place!!!).  It was hard at times to see Sergey a bit on the outside, just because of the language barrier.  However, someone in our youth group won the contest last year, and used the gift certificate that she won to get us all in for free, as well as get popcorn for everyone.  We decided that this would now be a GCPC youth group tradition - we will go to the movie and win the decorating contest, and then use the gift certificate that you win to get everyone in the next year :-).  As I watched the movie and thought about this, I was encouraged to know that next year, Sergey will be right in there, chatting away with everyone else. Or, maybe not chatting away, but at least part of the mix ;-).

Goochland Drive-In CHAMPS!!!

Sunday morning Olivia, Harry and I went to the Hanover Arc Santa breakfast at Bass Pro Shops (who donates the breakfast for all Hanover Arc members - SUCH a cool thing!!). I was planning on taking Sergey as well, but it was so early and dark when we got up so I decided to let him sleep in. It was fun to get a chance to just be with Olivia and Harry, and to visit with our friends over breakfast.  We picked up Sam and Sergey for church, and were on time for church - for maybe the first time ever. I think he is a good influence on me :-).  It was wonderful to be worshipping with our church family, with my entire family together - probably the most "perfect" feeling moment I've had since he's been here.

After church, I took Sam to a University of Richmond basketball game with his travel team, where he got to meet Clark Kellogg, who happened to be there cheering on his son, a member of the University of Ohio team (and coincidentally the one who hit the three-pointer in overtime that won the game for them).  He was so kind to talk to the boys and sign their various items - Sam will now never let me wash that jacket :-).  Everyone here (including our "other son" Andrew Cook) went to a friends' house to watch the Redskins/Cowboys game.  Super glad Sam and I missed that.  Whew. It's been a hard year to be a Redskins fan.

Clark Kellogg with the boys of CCB

At UR Stadium.

When the game was over, they all came and met us at my parents' house.  My aunt Jeannie from Cleveland was here, and we enjoyed what were my most favorite moments we have had this trip.  While some folks watched football downstairs, Jeannie, Sergey, Sam and I (and later we traded Sam in for Olivia :-), played games.  We played for hours - we didn't even stop for dinner as mom ordered pizza delivered and then brought it to us as we played :-).  It was so fun to watch Sergey as he relaxed more and more (he loves playing games), to see him laugh, to see him celebrate when he won (which he almost always did because not only is he athletic he is crazy smart), to see him interact with the people I love.  Mom joined us after a while, and then by the end we had almost everyone upstairs involved in one big game of Old Maid.  My favorite part was when I picked the Old Maid from Jeannie, and tried to keep a straight face. I thought I had pulled it off until I met Sergey's eyes and he looked at me and then burst out laughing.  He knew I had picked it by looking at my face, and that encouraged me deeply to think that maybe he is able to pick up on more than I think, even without language.  It was a perfect, beautiful night of Sequence, Crazy Eight's, pizza, Farkle, and Old Maid, and we ended it off with the Christmas episode of "The Neighbors", Clint's favorite show (JUST kidding, honey :-).

Crazy 8's in front of the fire.

Yesterday we all slept in and then went up to Burkwood to swim.  They were playing Christmas music and we just had so much fun.  I love watching Sergey just PLAY, and swimming is one of his favorite things, so being at the pool is such a joy.  He, Harry, Sam and Cookie played basketball, volleyball, and all kinds of pool games.  Liv did the elliptical, Clint went for a run and then swam with them, and in between watching them I tried to put a dent in my enormously growing email inbox.  So sorry if you are one of the ones awaiting a reply - I didn't get far :-(.

Pool shenanigans.

As soon as we got home, Sergey and I headed out for his first official ESL lesson.  Some friends of ours who are hosting as well as adopting a 16 year old girl from Ukraine (with whom we will hopefully be traveling in March!!!!) were kind enough to include us on a lesson that a friend of theirs offered to give for free.  When I dropped him off, I felt the exact same way I did dropping the other three off for preschool.  I knew that it would be better for them and for me if I left (and the teacher definitely told me I should go :-), but I felt like my heart might get yanked out of my chest and stay attached to them as I left.  I explained to him what was happening the best I could and said good bye, knowing that it was good but definitely not feeling that it was good.  And just like when I came to pick up from preschool (at least for the first few weeks ;-), I was early and ready to get him, dying for him to come out of that door so I could see his face again and see if he was okay.  He did great, and we had him practice what he learned at the dinner table that night in conversations with the kids (which was hilarious of course :-).  So very grateful for that family including us in that huge blessing - and looking forward to having a few more before he heads back.

When the lesson was over, it was already 2:30 and we had not had lunch yet, so we were both hungry. ("Are you hungry?" "Yes, I am hungry" is one of the things he learned, so that worked out very well :-).  Actually, that is one of the few phrases that we all know in Ukranian - I got him to teach it to us very early on when he was here last year, so it's fun to think that we can all say the same thing in each other's language :-).  Anyway, I took him to the European Deli, which is owned by a Ukranian woman and is filled with Ukranian and Russian food (and people).  A friend told me about it recently, and Clint and I went by last week to introduce ourselves and tell them about Sergey. It was SOOOO fun to see him speaking to the ladies there, to see how much they liked him and to watch him pick out food that he was familiar with.  He actually did pick things out, which he usually will not, so that was really fun for me.  One of the things he picked out is pictured below - I have no idea what to do with it, so I am hoping he will. In the meantime, it is a great way to freak out anyone who goes in our fridge.   When we left one of the ladies gave him a bunch of treats for free - it was so sweet to see his cheeks blush a bit as he said "thank you" in Ukranian :-). Man, that kid is cute :-).

This. Is in my refrigerator.

We were STARVING by this point (they usually serve lunch there, so I was planning on us eating there, but she said that today they were not), so we went next door to Arby's and had some sandwiches and curly fries. Yummy.  I put a tic-tac-toe app and checkers app on my phone, and we played those while we ate.  He thrashed me in checkers, but I actually won more games of tic-tac-toe. Apparently that might be the only thing I will be victorious in, so I am going to keep that app on my phone forever :-).

After getting all hyped up on junk food and sweet tea (me) and Pepsi (him - although he told me he really likes Coke :-), we went to go buy him some shoes. He did actually come in a tennis shoe type of shoe this time, but the sole is already coming away from the bottom.  We went to the Burlington Coat Factory on Broad Street, so that we could just try them on ourselves. I was hoping he would tell me which ones he wanted, but as usual he deferred to me, so I picked some sweet Nike's that I think/hope he likes :-).  His feet have grown quite a bit since he was here last time, so I think he might get much taller than we had thought :-).  On our way to the check out counter he paused by a table with perfume on it and looked at it.  I realized that he probably wanted to get a present for his girlfriend, and he said he did :-).  I told him that I would take him shopping once the kids are back in school after Christmas, and he was good with that.  While we were standing there, he sprayed some cologne on his wrist, and then proceeded to smell it for the next twenty minutes.  This made me laugh, because Harry is the one in our family that he is the most like, and Harry smells EVERYTHING that he picks up.  It is such a wonderful thing to think that there are family resemblances that transcend biology or genetics.  We stopped by Target to pick up a few last minute things, and had to run through the rain and puddles to get to the door.  He took very good care not to get his shoes wet, and is always careful to take good care of his things, another way that he is just like Harry :-). Those are the kind of things that are like little gifts, every day.  God is so good :-)

We came home and he played games with the boys while I wrapped presents.  After dinner we got our hot chocolate and went on our annual tacky light tour.  I can't even imagine what he thought of it, but I hope he enjoyed it :-).  Once we got home we watched an episode of "America's Funniest Videos", a show that obviously transcends language :-). and then headed off to bed.  Which brings me to now - sitting on the couch in front of the Christmas tree lights typing this while all the males in our house are still asleep (Liv is upstairs enjoying rare free reign of the TV remote :-).  I know this ended up being super long, but I realized as I was writing it that it was already hard to remember what we did last week, and I just don't want to lose one minute.  I am thankful that God woke me up early this morning to write this, and I am going to try to do it every week, to hold on to these moments we have. And it is a LOT more fun to write about him when he is upstairs and not on the other side of the world :-).  If you are still reading - WOW I am impressed - thanks for the love :-).