He's (almost!!) our son!!!

Back at his school before saying goodbye

Today was our court appointment, and everything went smoothly.  It is hard to imagine that all of this is really happening and that we are only (hopefully!) less than two weeks to having Sergey as our son.  Today still kind of seems surreal, but I will try to paint a bit of a picture - again, I wish every single one of you could have been here with us, but since you weren't, I'll try to tell you about it :-).

We got up this morning and headed to meet Alyona and Svetlana at the notaries office.  We got a form filled out and notarized and then hopped in the car to head for Sergey's orphanage. We picked him up, as well as his social worker, and drove to court, about an hour away.  Our appointment was at 2:00, and we got there exactly at 2 :-).  We had to wait a bit for the second witness, but I think we got started around 2:30 and the whole thing lasted about an hour, including the time when the judge and jury (the two witnesses) left for deliberation.  Alyona did a great job of preparing us for exactly what we would be experiencing, so it didn't really feel scary, just a little bizarre.

I can tell you more about it later, but since we have to be up in about 5 hours to fly home (feels like we LITERALLY just got off the plane here), I might keep this a bit shorter than usual ;-) - I know, I know, hard to believe.  But I'll try :-).

There is one image that will always remain in my mind when I think of today: that of Sergey, standing there by himself on the stand, answering the judge's questions.  I didn't realize that he would be questioned so much - I had thought it would be mainly me and Clint.  I thought the questions that the judge asked us were pretty straightforward - most of it was just "busywork," reading the court applications, etc.  The part that made my heart want to leap out of my chest was watching my (almost official) son standing there.

The judge asked him some straightforward questions as well, but he also asked a few that caught me off guard, and broke my heart at the same time, questions like "How do you feel about this family adopting you? (he said he loves us :-), by the way :-), and "How old were you when you found out your father was dead?"  He answered them all so calmly, with such poise, and with such amazing honesty and beauty. I was so proud of him it literally took all of the self-control I have to not jump up and squeeze the stuffing out of him.

The one question that I think literally caused me to stop breathing, though, was this: "Why do you think your mom never came to visit you in the orphanage all of those years?"  I think until that moment I had not really let it sink in what has happened to this sweet boy in his lifetime.  He is so kind, so content, so resilient, so easy-going, that I just don't really think very often about what his life has looked like.  To see him stand up on that stand, in his white sweater, his new hair cut, standing up so straight and tall - it gripped my heart and made me feel like I couldn't take a breath.  The heart ache and the love and the pride and the amazement - all wrapped up in one moment - it is hard to even put into words.

The one question that the judge asked me that did take me a bit by surprise and will truly stick with me was this: "Will you ever look back and wish you hadn't done this? Will you ever regret adopting this boy?"  As you can imagine, I was able to answer that very quickly :-).  However, the hard part in answering it was that after I told the judge adamantly NO I will never regret it, I wanted so desperately to turn around to Sergey and say it to him as well.  I wanted to look him in the eye, to repeat it to him, to make sure that he knows that NO MATTER WHAT we will absolutely NEVER regret this decision. We will NEVER wish that we hadn't adopted him. We will ALWAYS love him, and he will ALWAYS be our son.  NO MATTER WHAT.

The hard truth is that we don't know whether or not he will ever really truly be able to believe that.  Most likely, he will struggle, we will struggle, and we will all struggle together. At this point, we don't know the size or extent of that struggle, but I don't think that many teenage adoptions - or any adoptions, or any kids living through their teenage years in general ;-) - go perfectly smoothly.  There will be things that will be hard, and we don't know whether or not he will ever truly believe that we love him.  We don't know if he will ever be able to really love us in return.  We don't know if he will ever truly feel like a part of our family, or if he will ever feel like this is really his home.  He may leave our family at some point, we could possibly come to a point where he leaves our family for good without keeping in touch (this has happened to PLENTY of loving, wonderful families who have adopted children).  He may end up on the streets, he may end up in an institution, he may end up moving back to Ukraine when he turns 18.  Honestly, I don't think any of these sad things will happen, and I am super hopeful that all of the good loving things WILL happen, but I am willing (I think) to face the honest reality that they really might.  If you base it on statistics of children adopted as teens, there is a decent chance that sad things could happen.

But what I want to say here at this point, to myself, to my family, to each of you, is what I said to that judge today, what I wished I could say to Sergey today: We will NEVER wish we had not adopted this boy.  Obviously, we hope and pray that there is never a day where he does not feel loved by us. We pray that he will feel 100% part of our family, that he will find a place in our world, that one day he will be able to have a job, and to get married, and to have a family of his own.  We pray for him peace, and happiness, and especially that he will come to know Jesus very soon.  HOWEVER, even if none of those things happen, if we don't get the Blind Side ending (that's for you Kelly Cecil :-), we will NEVER wish we had not done this.  We are certain that God has brought Sergey into our lives - I don't think you could read the posts on this blog and not be convinced as well - and we are certain that He has brought him to us for good.  No matter what happens from here on out, we will never look back and say that we were wrong in that decision. When we do doubt, or struggle, or cry, or falter, we know that you all will be there for us, to hold us up, to hold Sergey up, just as you have during this entire adventure so far.  It will be hard for him, much much MUCH harder than for us - he is the one who is leaving behind everything he has ever known.  He is coming to a land with a new language, new food, new smells, new everything.  We are so grateful for you all to be loving him with us, to allow him to become the young man that God is going to call him to be.  We are going to try oh so very hard to give him freedom - to love him like crazy but let him find his own path in the midst of that love, and we are so VERY VERY grateful that the love will be coming at him from all directions.  THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for being in this with us.  We could not POSSIBLY be more grateful for our family, friends, church family, and community.

PS - Quick follow up on details for those of you who like the facts - we will wait 10 days (business days, with a holiday in there as well) before he officially becomes our son. At that time, Clint will go to pick him up at the orphanage. They will do some errands like picking up his birth certificate, getting his medical exams done, getting his passport, etc, and then they will head home.  And THEN the party will begin :-).

In front of the courthouse after our appointment :-)

I. Can. Not be-WEEVE It!!!

When Sam was little, he used to have this hilarious saying (well, he had a lot of hilarious sayings, but this was one of them ).  He would say, with dramatic pauses in between each word, "I. Can. Not. Be-WEEEEEVE It (he couldn't say "l's" yet :-).  This is a story that I still find hard to believe, and it brought that little phrase to my head as I was typing it out :-). With so many of you praying for a safe trip home, I couldn't not let everyone know what happened on the way home. Even this morning it brings a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes.  I now have 6 million things to do since I am home and now have to start doing these silly things like cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping again - I have NOT missed that!!!!

We got picked up by our driver at 6:50 am yesterday morning. He dropped us off at the Kyiv airport (which, by they way, is absolutely gorgeous, not much bigger than Richmond's airport, and looks like something out of the set of Mad Men.  Does anyone know if it is new? We were amazed by it), and we had some breakfast and waited for our flight. When we checked in, the woman told us that she would give us our boarding passes for this flight, but that we would get the rest of our boarding passes in Paris. We thought nothing of that and went on our merry way.

On our flight to Paris, we had more leg room than I ever knew was possible on a plane. In order to eat my snack I had to pick up the plate off of my tray to hold it closer - I couldn't even reach it on my tray!! I am not exaggerating, I promise.  We were on the emergency exit row, which is why it was so huge - you have never seen Clint so happy :-).  Also, yet ANOTHER reason to love Ukranians - when the plane landed, they all clapped for the pilot!!! I LOVE IT!!!

We got to Paris with plenty of time for our next flight - we didn't have a huge layover but definitely plenty of time to make it. We didn't stop to eat or go to the bathroom because we wanted to get checked in and see if there was any chance of moving our seats (we had been assigned the middle seats in the middle section - pretty much death for a long trip like this, and had lots of folks praying that they would get changed).  We went up to the ticket counter and there were two other people waiting in line. There was no one working at the counter (someone told us they said they'd be back soon), but there was nowhere else really to go, so we just waited. We took turns heading to the restroom, because we ended up standing there for over 30 minutes before anyone came to help.  At that point I was getting worried because I was afraid we wouldn't have time to get something to eat (in case you haven't noticed, it pretty much always comes back to food, for me :-).  By the time the lovely French woman finally came to help us all check in, there was an ENORMOUS line behind us.  She helped the two folks in front of us, and then we were next. We told her that we needed boarding passes since they hadn't given us any in Kyiv, and we were wondering if perhaps we could get aisle seats (the folks in front of us had all gotten new seats so we were hopeful).  When we told her we didn't have our boarding passes yet, she gave us a strange look and started typing away on her computer.  The next thing she said made me feel like I was going to throw up.  "I am sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Dowda.  Zere are no seats for you.  Zee plane ees full."

WHAT???!?!?!?  How could it be full???? We had our seat assignments - our travel agent had sent us all the confirmations!!!!  Turns out here is what happened: if you do not check in earlier than an hour before boarding begins, they can give your seats to someone else. We couldn't check in from our apartment that morning because we didn't have a printer to print our boarding passes. We couldn't check in at Kyiv, because the lady there wouldn't do it. And we had arrived more than an hour before boarding, but we had been standing there for so long waiting for someone to help us that we had missed the hour deadline, so apparently they had given our seats away.  She typed away some more on her computer, made a phone call, and then asked us to step aside while she waited to hear back.  We moved aside and then watched as no fewer than 400 people (I am NOT kidding - this plane actually had an UPSTAIRS on it - It. Was. HUGE.)  passed us by to check in.  We stood there and waited, and waited and waited.  We watched as they had first call, second call, third call, final call for boarding.  We saw all kinds of crazy conversations and things go on, but somehow everyone else (except for one poor hispanic lady without a visa and this one sweet older French couple) managed to get checked in and on board just fine.  And we just waited. We made jokes about not getting on the plane, and I think I had let it go in my mind that we might not get on the plane. I figured there would be a plane going to somewhere near our home at some point from Paris a little later that day, and just resigned myself to the fact that we would be facing a much less enjoyable day.

Then the lady came over to talk to us.  This other very, very sweet lady who we had watched be so kind to the hispanic woman, came over and said she had a question for us.  At this point, the only people left in the area were a bunch of Air France employees and the one older couple. The wife had a ticket but her husband was on the wait list and they were hoping to get on - as well as cheering for us to get on :-).  So the Air France lady came over to us, and said that they were looking for volunteers to give up their seats for someone who had a medical emergency. She looked at us with those kind French eyes and said "Do you have any reason zat you have to bee in zee United States today?  Would you be willing to wait and go tomorrow?  Is zere a reason you need to be zere today?"  I wanted to say "my kids," but as my eyes IMMEDIATELY filled with tears that started rolling down my cheeks when she asked that question, I realized that if I were to open my mouth at ALL and say anything at ALL I would start crying - not just tears streaming down my face but the loud, ugly, heaving and sobbing kind of crying.  I had no idea all that was in there, but apparently it was.  And I didn't want to be the crazy lady standing there sobbing, so I just kept my mouth shut and nodded that it was okay.  We were willing to let the other folks go - how could you insist on taking seats from someone with a medical emergency?  We let the tickets go, and I just concentrated 100% of my effort on not totally and completely losing it in front of all of the cool and collected French folks.

The sign started flashing "Boarding complete" and they started closing the doors and shutting things down.  I felt like crumpling in a little puddle and disappearing in my sadness (okay, now I am proofreading this and literally crying thinking about it).  I truly had NO idea how desperate I was to get home and hold my kids until she asked that question.  We just stood there, kind of in shock, realizing we would be spending the night in Paris and taking a flight the next day, when the first lady looked up from the computer and called us over.  "I can get you on zee plane" she said.  I seriously could not believe it. She was typing away like mad, then started printing out our boarding passes. The sweet older couple was still standing there and they were so happy for us - I wanted to hug them but I was pretty sure they would think that was a little odd :-).  Plus I knew I would start ugly crying all over them, and no one wants that.  So instead we just grabbed our boarding passes and ran.

I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I couldn't even look at the stewardesses who helped us on board.  I couldn't look at the people staring at us either - especially since they had been sitting there for quite some time waiting on us - we were THOSE people.  If they only knew. We walked a million miles to the back of the biggest plane I have ever been on in my life - there were rows of TEN seats, broken up into three on each side and four in the middle.  And I don't even know how many rows - a LOT.  And with all of those seats, not a single empty one.  Not one.  God got us on that plane.  He did it.  And here is the best part.

We didn't have to sit in the middle :-).

We had asked folks to pray that we wouldn't have to sit in the middle, and we didn't. We ended up in one of the rows on the edge, in the middle and aisle seats.  And are you ready for this? Guess who was sitting in the window seat with us? A young man from ODESSA.  Yes, I think he was probably the only one on that whole plane from Ukraine. He was from Odessa, he KNEW Sergey's little, teeny, tiny village, and he was just the cutest thing you've ever seen.  He was heading to Charleston, SC, where he was getting on a cruise ship. This was his fourth stint as a mechanic working on a cruise line. He said he really liked it and told us all about it.  At several points I had to sit on my hands (really, SIT on them) to keep from reaching over and hugging him.  I kept wanting to stare at him (and I did a few times - he is probably writing his parents right now about the crazy American lady who kept talking to him and looking at him).  He was a bit older that Sergey, but had blond hair and that sweet Ukrainian face.  It was amazing.

So, I think it is safe to say that God was holding us in his hands pretty strongly every single second of this trip.  He is a good God, who gives good gifts to his children, WELL WELL WAY ABOVE AND BEYOND what they can ask or imagine.  We are so grateful for all of the prayers offered up on our behalf - I hope you are encouraged by the myriad of ways they were answered.  We had one last lovely surprise upon arriving home, when we came down the runway and saw that our dear and lovely friend Pamela Rogers had come to pick us up. She drove us home and when we got out of the car, we looked up at the boys' bedroom window and saw the silhouttes of their little red heads - looking out the window holding the little electric candle that sits in their window.  I wish now I had taken a picture of it - maybe we'll re-enact it tonight and get a picture of it ;-).  We walked in and Olivia was all curled up in the chair in her blanket - all we could see what her sweet face and her beautiful smile.  Our sweet neighbor Gina was here with the kids, and the kids had put together a welcome home gift on the kitchen counter, complete with flowers, wine, Reese's Peanut Butter cups, and Jujy Fruits.  NOTHING can compare to that feeling of being home - well, I guess nothing except when that homecoming includes Sergey :-).  THAT will be quite a day :-).

Two more miracles :-), and now it's time for home :-).

I think this will be our last post from Ukraine, for this trip.  I wasn't planning on writing again after my last post, but two things have happened since then that I really want to tell you about, so here goes:

We left Odessa yesterday around 4:00 pm.  We met with the notary around noon, and then just walked around the city until it was time to go.  It was April 1st, and apparently in Ukraine that is a day where they dress up in different costumes and celebrate (our waitress at lunch tried explaining it to us), so it was especially entertaining to walk around and watch people.  There were parades and performances - my favorite was a mime who was dancing to a medley of Michael Jackson songs :-).  I have never in my life seen anything quite like it, and I will definitely not forget it :-).

The notary's office

The gathering in the middle of Odessa on April 1

One of the random people dressed in costume that are always walking around all the time :-).  This was a minion and we took this picture for you, Evan Leonard :-).

We got on the bus at 4:00 and were on it for 6 hours.  I won't go into any details of the trip, but I will just say that it wasn't the most enjoyable 6 hours I've ever spent in my life. When we stopped at the pay-to-go-to-the-bathroom place, the woman taking the money kept trying to tell us something that we couldn't understand, and a young lady behind us stepped up and helped out and then gave us a great smile.  I think that is one of the things I will miss about being here - the way that everyone has been so kind to us.  I know that this doesn't jive with what folks have told us, and especially in light of the recent political situation, doesn't make a lot of sense, but I swear that every single time people would realize that we were Americans their faces would change like they were so happy, and then they would be even nicer than they had been before.  I have to admit I'm pretty proud of the fact that no one could tell we were Americans until we spoke - I ONLY brought black to wear and I tried to look as EE as possible at all times :-).  I can't wait to get home and dress all in pink again ;-).  The point is, I had thought that we would face lots of hostility, but in fact we found only kindness and hospitality.  I don't know if this is a result of God's hand in the folks we met, or a change in overall attitude towards Westerners, but we definitely enjoyed it.  Several times we were in restaurants eating when we were Facetiming our kids at home (our time of eating dinner usually coincided with their getting home from school) and we would show the waitresses who we were talking to and they would always look so happy and wave hi :-).

ANYWAY, we took the LONG bus ride, and then around 10:00 pm we arrived in Kyiv. The schedule had said that we would get in at 10:30, so when we arrived at the station Alex was not yet there to get us.  We walked our bags around the corner to where he would meet us, and then sat them down while we waited. After a few minutes, Clint went to check on the pouch that had all of our credit cards, all of our money, and both of our passports, that he almost always had strapped around him.  He looked for a few minutes and then started to realize that it wasn't on him or in the backpack.  I went back to where the bus had been, but it was gone.  About this time Alex arrived, and we told him what had happened. Thankfully he took quick action and went into the bus station and had them call the bus driver.  We had no idea what would happen - we had to go move Alex's car because he had parked somewhere where he couldn't stay.  Clint and I ran back into the bus station lobby and were just staring at each other wondering what in the heck we were going to do, when this sweet older man walked in with a smile on his face and a black pouch in his hand.  I wanted to hug and kiss him (don't worry, I didn't - but we did give him a hefty thank you tip!!!), but instead we just said Thank you about a million times and smiled like total idiots.  I am convinced this was just a miracle - we had both been praying like crazy that God would save us, and He did!!!  Thankfully, He is a God of mercy who gives us that which we don't deserve :-).

Alex drove us to our new apartment (the last one was being used by someone else) and dropped us off.  He showed us a grocery store and a few restaurants that were still open (it was 10:45 by this point), and then he headed home.  We dropped our stuff off, went to the grocery store for some water (and pastries that we thought were yummy fruit pastries for breakfast, only to find out that in fact they were MEAT PIES!!! - Clint had to brush his teeth again after that discovery :-), and then went to the one restaurant that was open and had actual customers in it.  We laughed so hard when we saw the hours of the restaurant - 08:00 to 06:00.  Seriously? 8 am - 6 am?  We are still wondering what they are doing in those two hours between 6 and 8.  We were very happy, though, that they were open and still serving, off of a ridiculously huge and widely varied menu. It was a Tex-Mex Cantina, and they were playing only Western songs - some so old and so Western that even I, lover of all country music, had never heard them.  We laughed at almost every one, but probably laughed the most at "Cotton-Eyed Joe." :-).  We ate tons of food and drank a few beers, and were so happy to not be on that bus anymore and to not have lost all of our money and passports. On top of that joy, we truly had our best waitress we have ever had (in any country) - I think Harry got to see her on FaceTime. I wanted to take her home with me, she was so cute.  If she was still there tonight we were going to go in and get our picture with her, but sadly she was not working tonight :-(.

Our cantina - sadly you can't see the hours from here.  They actually had a "24 hour" neon sign as well - not sure if that accounted for the two hours they were closed or not :-).

Our beautiful new kitchen :-).

About half-way through dinner, I looked on my phone and there was a VK message.  VK is like Eastern European Facebook, and I am friends with both Sergey and his girlfriend on there.  I have sent him messages on there before, but he never responds (except right before our trip this time when he said he wanted to see us :-).  We don't usually use it to communicate - mostly I just use it to worry about him when I see all of the things he posts on there!!! Since he never writes me on there, I was shocked when I saw the notification pop up. I clicked on the message, and unfortunately it was in Ukranian, and my phone doesn't translate.  Needless to say, as soon as we got home I got on Google Chrome (which does translate) to see what he said.  And even thinking about it right now makes me get choked up.  The message was this: "Can you buy me sneakers for football."

His message is the one without emoticons.  Mine are the ones with emoticons.
I am sure you would NEVER have guessed that :-).

When you read this, you might think that seems a very normal request, so I need to explain the importance to you.  First of all, just the fact that he sent me a message on VK was amazing.  For him to want to communicate with us is a SUPER big deal, no matter what he had said in his message.  However, for him to ask something from us is truly nothing short of a miracle.  Each time that he has come to stay with us, I have taken him shopping several times and literally begged him to tell me what he would like.  Especially the first time he was here, when we didn't know if we would ever see him again, I was desperate to send him back with a suitcase full of things that he wanted.  Especially now that I have seen where he lives, it is very obvious that he has been given VERY little in his life, and I just wanted to spoil him and shower him with things that he wanted.  Over the course of three trips, the only thing he ever pointed to (after much prompting) was a pack of gum, which he then promptly shared with our whole family.  I realize that the reason for this unwillingness to express desire for something isn't necessarily a good thing, even though most of us would love our kids to be so unwilling to ask for stuff ;-).  He is used to not getting anything, and he even told us that his personality is such that he doesn't like to ask for things.  So the fact that he asked for something is ABSOLUTELY UNBELIEVABLY INCREDIBLY MIRACULOUS and WONDERFUL!!!!!  (Tears as I type) - it made me feel like, just a tiny bit, he was starting to realize that he was going to be our son and that we wanted to take care of him.  Maybe not on a conscious level (probably not), but somewhere inside he knew he could ask us for something. And I cannot even begin to tell you how that made us feel.  EVEN CLINT was emotional about it.  Yes.  He was.

I went to bed feeling full, blessed, cared for, loved, as Clint spent a good chunk of time trying to help Sam with something he was trying to do back home :-).  I slept past 10, and I won't even tell you how late Clint slept.  We had a day of not-doing-much - lunch out, dinner out, some walking, shopping for gifts for folks at home, talking, and packing in between.  We just got home from dinner, and as we have to get up very early, we will be heading to bed shortly.  I almost started crying today in the shop where we were buying the gifts, thinking about how sad I will be to leave this country.  On the one hand I am INSANELY HOMESICK and almost physically in pain from missing our three kids in Virginia so much, as well as our one kid in Odessa.  On the other hand, though, I have so fallen in love with this place and will miss it so much.  I know we will be back again soon, but to think that we will only spend days here, here and there, maybe just a few more times for the rest of our lives, made me very sad.  It is such a lovely place, and it has won a place in my heart forever and ever.  As we fly out in the morning, we will be leaving a huge hunk of our hearts behind, but I feel like even when we have that hunk next to us in the airplane, there will still be a little bit of us here, in this wonderful place that we have come to love.

Praise God from Whom ALL Blessings Flow!!!

I seriously cannot believe it. If you had told me 2 1/2 months ago that I would be sitting on a couch in a little apartment in Odessa, Ukraine telling you about the amazing day we had I would have wanted to believe you, but I probably wouldn't have.  To think about all of the ways that God has led us, blessed us, shown Himself to us, and worked through YOU is almost too much to take in.  Based on the emails, texts, notes, calls and conversations we've had/gotten, I can't even begin to imagine how many prayers have been lifted up on account of our sweet Sergey.  We are overwhelmed with gratitude for your faithfulness and friendship, and don't even know how to begin to say thank you. The only way I can think of (besides saying "Thank you!!!" - THANK YOU!!!) is to invite you to live today with us - I wish that each of you actually could have been there with us :-).  Plus, this way I can look back and remember every single thing about today :-).

The cute cafe below our apartment - our door is above the roof, to the right in the corner - #21 :-)

We went down to breakfast at the little cafe that is part of our sweet apartment here (breakfast is included and it was super delicous!!), and then met Aloyna at 10:00.  This is our first time meeting her, and we had heard how wonderful she is, but she even exceeded our expectations.  She is just absolutely wonderful.  And speaking of expectations, she is 9 months pregnant!!!  When I asked her "when are you due?" she said "Today"!!!!! I couldn't believe it - we would be traveling all the way to Sergey's orphanage (a few hours) on an INCREDIBLY bumpy road with this adorable woman who is due today!!!  She was amazing - never complained and always said she was fine whenever we asked. I think I was more worried about her than she was about herself - and I think Clint was super nervous that we were going to be part of delivering a baby on the side of the road :-). Fortunately, that did not happen - if it had, I am sure I would be leading with that story :-).

We walked from our apartment about 10 minutes to the notary office to get a few papers notarized, and then we met a driver who drove us part of the way to Sergey's orphanage.  The ladies who worked at the notary office were so kind and super funny - apparently there are many folks who won't be a part of adoption notaries (I have several theories on why this is true), so it was great to have someone who was so supportive and kind.  After about 30 minutes of driving, we met Svetlana at a gas station (the NICEST, cleanest, most modern gas station I have EVER seen - right there on the side of the road from Odessa to Kyiv with NOTHING else in sight in any direction - so funny).  We hopped into her car (and both breathed a sigh of relief - she is a very calm and safe driver in a country where most drivers make me look like a slow and cautious driver) and she took us the rest of the way.  The road between Kyiv and Odessa looks pretty much like this the whole way, on both sides:

Like I said in my last post, you have never seen such lush land, but there is a LOT of it!!!  There are very few towns, and the ones that are there are far off of the road and very small.  The road is fairly smooth most of the way, but there are some pretty major potholes and dips as well.  When we finally got to the turn-off for Sergey's village/orphanage, I finally found out what our friends who have been there before have been talking about.  Potholes would be offended by calling these things potholes.  Imagine it more like this - all over the place, there are just pieces of the road completely missing.  You cannot even imagine it - I've never seen anything like it before. Needless to say, it took us QUITE some time to get to Sergey :-).

In the village

Almost there!!!

The sign for the school!!

When we finally arrived, we went into the school, up to the office of the school's social worker (got to peek in on some kids in the  middle of class, working hard).  The town's social worker showed up a little later - we were originally supposed to pick her up, but since she lived an HOUR past the school on that road, Svetlana asked if she could take a cab and meet us there, since Aloyna was about to have a baby :-).  Thankfully, she said yes :-).  So it was Svetlana, Aloyna, the two social workers, and us in the little office. This office was right off of the office of the director, so he soon came out and joined us as well.  We had all started chatting when the door opened and Sergey walked in.  My heart almost stopped :-).  We each gave him a big hug and then we all sat down again.  Aloyna and Sveta chatted with him for a while - it was so sweet to see how kind they were to him - teasing him and asking him questions trying to get him to talk :-).  He was obviously fairly nervous and uncomfortable being the center of attention, but he looked them in the eye and answered their questions in his sweet way.  It was all I could do to keep from jumping up and hugging the stuffing out of him.  Don't worry - I didn't.

One of the things I was most nervous about with this visit was that this was the time that he needed to say for good whether or not he wanted to be adopted by us or not.  He needed to write it all out, so his social worker took him into the director's office so that he could do so.  He did not hesitate at all, and the director told us after Sergey left the room that they had been asking him every day if he wanted to be adopted and he continued to say yes.  They reassured us that he was the one who changed his mind back, that they were encouraging him to come to live with us, but no one forced him and that it was what he really wanted.  I can't wait to get to read what he wrote one day!!!

After a bit, they told him that he should go to lunch so that he didn't miss it, and then he could come back and see us again.  He must have scarfed down his lunch because he was back within about 10 minutes.  Oh, I almost forgot - when he first came in and I hugged him and then turned around to face all the ladies, they were all smiling and chatting like crazy and then Aloyna said "We think he looks just like you" :-).  I don't know if he does or if he doesn't, but the looks on their faces and hearing them say that made me so proud :-).  Maybe it wasn't that he looks like me, but that he looks like he belongs with us :-).  Anyway, there were lots of papers, and questions, and stuff like that, and at one point the director told him to go back with his friends for a while and that we would call him when we were done talking.  Once he left, we were able to talk to the director more directly about Sergey, which is why he sent him away.  I think this is the part where my expectations and reality VASTLY diverged.

We talked out in the main office for a while, and then went into his office and talked even more.  Aloyna translated for us.  I can't remember the order of everything that was said, but I will try to remember everything I can :-).  Sveta and Aloyna told us on our way up the stairs that the director was a good man, and we found out that they were definitely right once we started talking to him.  It was so evident that he really cares about the children and knows them very well.  He started out by asking us a bunch of questions that showed that he truly cared about Sergey's welfare and future.  He wanted to know lots of things about our plans for him - for the future, about his education, job future, etc.  He had some great advice for us on how best to help Sergey, and what kind of a learner he is.  It was so touching how many things he told us, over the whole course of our time with him, about parenting him. He told us how much Sergey wants to please, what a good listener he is and how much he always does his best.  He and the social worker were laughing as they told a story about a field trip they went on when he was little, where they told Sergey "stay here", meaning just for a minute while they were getting things ready.  They were doing other things and then looked back and he was still standing there, all by himself :-).  I can just picture his blond little head just standing there where he was told :-).  It was so obvious as he talked that he had so much fondness for him.  As he kept telling us different things about helping him (don't expect him to be too independent since here he is told everything he needs to do, help him along the way until he really grasps how to do something, make sure to praise and encourage him, etc.), I thought how much he sounded like I do when I am giving someone instructions on how to take care of my own kids :-).  And that warmed my heart :-).

Another few wonderful things - there has been a caretaker at the orphanage who has been there since he first came who loves him so much and calls him "son."  He said that he has always been the kind of kid who is easy to love because he is so sweet and listens so well, but this one particular caretaker really bonded with him in a special way.  She wasn't going to be at the orphanage until after 5 pm today so we couldn't meet her, but we are hoping to do whatever it takes to meet her on our next visit.  We also asked the director if he could find out what she might like as a gift that we could bring for Sergey to give her as a good-bye present, and he promised that he would try to do it in a way such that she wouldn't know why he was asking :-).  I. CAN. NOT. WAIT. to hug that sweet woman.

Another warm and fuzzy - we found out that Sergey used to live with his grandmother before he came to the school, and that even when she was very old and hobbling along on her little cane she would come by every day at the first bell and the last bell.  We don't know all of the details about what happened with his mother, and probably never will. We know some things which we will keep private, but what seems very obvious to me is that God has provided several women in Sergey's life who have loved him and cherished him, and stepped in to fill a void that he had, to allow him to grow up to be the amazing young man that he is.  I am not implying that there will not be hardship and pain from not having his biological mother for most of his life, but I think that he has been shown deep love in a way that many children in his shoes never have, and for that I am truly beyond-words grateful.

And then the final clincher from the director (at which point all of the waterfalls of tears behind my eyes threatened to come pouring out) was this:  Apparently he has adopted one child.  He didn't give specifics about that child, but he said this, that if it weren't for the need to provide for Sergey's further education, career, etc, he himself would have adopted Sergey.  Looking in this man's kind eyes as Aloyna translated that to us was a moment I will never forget.  He said that he could tell just from being with us that we were good people and that we were going to provide a good home for Sergey. He told us right at the beginning that he was so very happy that Sergey was getting adopted, because he was the kind of kid who really should be in a family (I know, I know, OBVIOUSLY every kid should be in a family, and I agree, but I think I understood the sentiment behind what he was saying) - he said that he was a "good family child".  We laughed so hard together as we talked about how Sergey is NOT a big talker. I was so happy to know that my intuition was correct, that even in Russian Sergey does not like to talk very much.  The director said he really wanted us to know that, so that we wouldn't worry if he didn't talk much - that it is just the way he is. He imitated a conversation between Sergey and his girlfriend, "blah-blah-blah-blah ... " and on and on and then "Da," and then again "blah-blah-blah-blah ..." and then "nyet."  It was so funny - I knew exactly what he was saying even before Aloyna translated :-).  And it was kind of him to think of that - it gives us the freedom to allow him to be a man of few words. And in our home that is probably a good kind of man to be, because we already have several talkers (not naming any names).

We tried SO hard to get the director to give us some ideas of some things that we could bring as presents for him, for the orphanage, for the kids, for the caretakers.  He said that our donation that we give at the end of the process would be plenty, that he would use that to get what they need. I kept pushing (of course because I LOOOVE giving gifts!!!!), and finally he gave in and said we could bring laundry detergent :-).  He said with it getting warm the kids will be outside getting dirty more and they could use some detergent.  So he will be getting a LOT of detergent when we come back :-).  Those kids will be smelling good for months :-).  As we left his office, I was just so overwhelmed by thankfulness for the way that God has cared for our boy through this man and all of the other folks in this orphanage.  It was definitely not a place full of wealth, but it seemed to me a place where people were happy and well-cared for - which is a gift to my heart.

Sergey then took Aloyna, Clint and me on a tour around the school, while Svetlana (she is the lawyer and Aloyna is the translator) finished up with the business side of things.  On our way out of the building he showed us two pictures on the bulletin board that had him in them - when he was younger.  They are below :-).  Between 3 and 4 the kids have "rest time" where they are supposed to either sleep or rest, so it was very quiet.  He took us to his dorm and we walked in on about a dozen teen-aged boys in the lobby piled in together watching TV.  They all looked up at us and smiled and called out to Sergey.  He gave them that little sideways smile and showed us his room. There were bunkbeds in his room - a total of 5 beds - that were all perfectly neatly made up with matching quilted navy blue comforters.  I wanted to get better pictures, but I figured he was painfully aware of all of the boys staring in at us, so I just clicked a quick one of him and Clint :-).  I'll take more next time when all the boys aren't right there.  He had his own set of shelves at the foot of his bed (he sleeps on the bottom), and all of his things were neatly set up.  The director told us that Sergey was usually a very neat child who took good care of things, but that sometimes he could be a little messy (we have seen both of these things in our house when he has been with us :-).

We walked back through the lobby and walked down the stairs in front, when we heard someone call out to us and turned around. There was the cutest boy ever running out of the building towards us.  He came up and introduced himself and then said "Nice to meet you" in perfect English :-).  His name was Sasha, and he told us that he had been hosted in Colorado.  We asked him if he was friends with Sergey and he said "Yes!! Good friends!!"  He seriously could not have been any cuter or more earnest - my heart ACHED when I heard that he was already 16 (which means he can no longer be adopted).  However, I found out this evening though our New Horizons Facebook page that he was indeed hosted and offered the chance at a family, but didn't want to leave the siblings he had there.  That lessened my pain, knowing that he had been given that opportunity, but when I think of all the kids there who have not been offered that chance, it is hard to handle.  We saw the boy Igor who had been answering Sergey's phone (not the Igor who just got adopted), and we are going to keep trying to get him hosted.

Sergey and Sasha :-)

Sergey walked us back to our car where Svetlana was waiting for us.  We had brought a bunch of presents and had given him his already (he loved it :-), and had given the director his.  However, we still had 4 bags full of things for the kids and the caretakers.  Sergey said he would take them to the director for us, so that he could hand them out as he wished.  We talked a bit about the fact that we would see him again soon - hopefully just a matter of weeks until we have our official court date.  Aloyna told him that he would need to wear something nice, so he asked us if we would bring him some black pants and some shoes.  He has hardly EVER EVER EVER asked us for anything, so I know that he must be taking this seriously.  Nothing will be more fun that going to buy those shoes and pants :-).

We each hugged him goodbye and got in the car.  He walked away with the four bags in hand, off towards the director's house.  He walked for a while as we got settled in the car, and then turned around one more time to see us.  I had to seriously swallow some sobs, and could have cried for hours, but instead I tried to focus on the fact that we will see him again in just WEEKS!!!!!  And then soon after that, he will be in our house for good - so we don't need to cry!! Right???

Our view as he walked away - he had just turned the corner when we snapped this

After a LONG drive back to Odessa (we had to take a 2 hour detour to pick up another set of papers), we finally got home about 7:30 pm.  We had not eaten since that French Toast, so we went out and celebrated at our favorite restaurant, called The Steakhouse :-).  I had the best salmon I have EVER eaten, and Clint had another steak :-).  To give you some idea of how inexpensive it is - the salmon only cost twice as much as the ice cream you can get for dessert :-).  And Clint might have had one or two of those $1 beers again :-).  We had another adorable waitress who chatted with us quite a bit and let us practice our few words of Russian on her :-).  And now here we are - listening to Zac Brown, Facetiming our kids, and writing up this blog.  God is so good.

I'm in Love!!!

Okay, it's now official. I love Ukraine :-).  It is so amazing to think that most likely I would never have visited this country (much less learned anything about it or studied it at all) had we not met Sergey, and now it is one of my most favorite places in the world.  The people are beautiful, the countryside is gorgeous, the cities are alive and so fun, there are huge lovely parks everywhere, amazingly incredible churches all over the place, and we can eat at a really nice restaurant (food, drinks, dessert) for a price you would not believe (thank goodness for the strength of the dollar right now!!!). And yesterday I found a pair of boots on clearance in a little boutique in Kiev that I might just wear every day for the rest of my life because they are so awesome.  We may never come home :-).  JUST KIDDING - we will be coming home soon :-).

I last wrote on Thursday night, and now it is Saturday night here (we just found out that Spring forward is tonight, so we will be back on a 7 hour time difference, in case anyone was wondering :-).  Friday was another beautiful day - I am astonished by the beautiful weather we have had here.  We went to the United States Embassy in the morning to file our I600. It was an enormous building, and the area where you go to do adoption things had 18 windows for business.  But it was just us and one other guy :-).  We were standing there at the window finishing up when we heard Toby Mac's "Me without You" playing from somewhere. We both laughed out loud and thought of our boys (including Andrew Cook) - and they'll know why :-).  It was easy as could be, and then Alex took us back to our apartment. We went and got some lunch (I ordered a yummy pizza that I am going to try to make when I get home - SUPER thin focaccia bread, with caesar dressing, iceberg lettuce, bacon, and cherry tomatoes. It was like heaven - and less than $4!!).  After lunch we walked around Kiev some more and then Alex picked us up to take us to the SDA, where we picked up our referral for Sergey!!  It literally took one minute - we walked in, sat down, signed one paper, and walked out with everything we needed :-).  The woman who helped us was so nice and said Good Luck with everything!!

Instead of going back to our apartment, we had Alex drop us off at a place I had heard about when I was looking online for places to visit the night before.  It was beyond words - I took a ton of pictures (what a shock), but none of them even come close to showing you how gorgeous it was.  It was/is a monastery, and there were still monks walking around who are currently living there.  We went down underground to some caves where monks used to live - it was amazing.  If you ever go to Kiev, I would highly recommend you go see it.  Here are a few of the pictures:

When we left the monastery, we walked a ways to get to a World War II monument area, which was incredible as well.  Alex had told us that we needed to go, so that we could see the statue there. She was really impressive - a bit like the statue of liberty but shinier :-).  Here are a few pics from that area:

You can't really tell from this, but she is HUUUUGE.

We took a taxi back to our apartment and then went out for dinner. We chose the restaurant because it was called "Oliva" (Olivia minus one I) - we HAD to go there :-).  It was so fun - we had the cutest waitress who spoke lots of English and was so sweet to us.  I wish I had taken a picture of her instead of the restaurant :-), and I wish OUR Olivia could have been with us!!!

This morning Alex picked us up to catch the train at noon.  All of the other folks we know who have adopted from Sergey's orphanage have taken an overnight train to Odessa and then taken another one back to Kiev, so I had assumed that we would do the same.  However, Alex suggested the bus and we decided to go for it, since we would be able to see the countryside on the way, and be able to sleep in real beds instead of beds on a train!!  I am so very glad we did, because it gave us such a great picture of the country.  I have NEVER NEVER EVER seen so much lush, green, rich farmland, just mile after mile for 6 hours!!!!!  I took some pictures, but you can't really see what it was like.  The dirt was such a deep, rich brown, and the grass was just so green. I can't imagine what it looks like when they are growing their crops - I want to come back sometime in the summer with Sergey - I bet it is incredible.  One funny thing along the way - we stopped about half-way for folks to use the bathroom and get a snack, but you had to pay to use the bathroom! It was so funny - you went up to this window and gave them 2 grivna and they gave you a little coin. You put it in this turn-style and then could go into the restroom! We can't ever understand anything that people are saying, or read any of the signs, so we just follow the others and do whatever they are doing :-).  Thankfully this was a pretty clear thing and we figured it out okay :-).

We arrived in Odessa at 6 pm, and were greeted by another one of the folks working with us, Svetlana. She is so kind - everyone has told us how wonderful she is, and they were right :-). She brought us to our apartment, showed us where the grocery store was and suggested a few restaurants, and then headed home.  We settled in a bit and then went out for another great dinner - I am not sure I am ever going to be able to cook again.  I am getting so spoiled - what a treat to sit down night after night to a delicious meal that someone ELSE has prepared, and that someone ELSE is going to clean up!!!  And to be waited on by such lovely people - when I look back on this trip it will definitely be one of my most favorite memories of it. It has been a COMPLETELY unexpected blessing and gift.

I wish you could see this better - it was one of the most beautifully decorated restaurants I have ever seen.

Speaking of gifts, and things unexpected, I just want to share a quick story that I know some of you will think is silly/ridiculous, but I know that some of you will love as much as I did.  Tonight at dinner they brought us a bunch of different kinds of homemade bread, with a plate for dipping into, that had olive oil and some different spices and herbs (see pic above). It was to DIE for - I think I could have licked the plate.  It definitely was heavy on the garlic, as were the veggies we had, and so I was thinking how much I would love a piece of gum.  Let me say that I have literally not seen one piece of gum since we've been here - no one seems to chew it, or at least anyone that I've seen.  I had just had that thought when our sweet waitress brought us our bill (they never bring it until you ask for it - it's so nice because you can just relax and talk, and not have to feel like you need to rush out as soon as you are done).  They always bring the bill in something fun or pretty, and this time she brought it in an envelope.  Clint reached in to pull it out (picture below so you can see how nice even the BILLS are!!), and then a few minutes later he looked back in the envelope and said "Look! Two pieces of gum!"  To me (probably not to Clint, who most likely thinks I am crazy), that felt like just one more way (one of a MILLION things) that God was reminding us that He is right here with us and that we are exactly where we are supposed to be!!!

the bill - isn't it so pretty????

We are now back home, getting ready for bed.  We got to talk to 2 of our 3 kids in the States, and unpack all of our things in our new teeny tiny apartment :-).  Tomorrow is totally free, since it is a Sunday.  I think that we should go rent some bikes (we saw a place tonight as we were walking around that you can do so), and ride them to the beach.  In case you don't know, Odessa is right on the Black Sea.  I cannot wait to explore tomorrow - it definitely has the feel of a beach town, with tons of restaurants, hotels, shops, and happy people everywhere :-).  It is so quaint - cobblestone streets, lights hanging everywhere, a gorgeous park that we walked through tonight, and beautiful churches.  

Then, Monday is THE BIG DAY!!!!!!!!  We will pick up the social worker at 10:00 am and meet with her.  We will all drive to Sergey's orphanage, where he will have to sign the papers to say that he does wanted to be adopted by our family.  We will likely only see him for a matter of minutes before we head out to take the social worker back.  I think we have to file some papers or something, and then we will be done.  We will most likely spend the night here Monday night, and then take the bus back to Kiev on Tuesday, and then fly out on Thursday!!!  If everything goes as planned here (praying like crazy that it will!!!), we will be done on Wednesday. We are missing our kids at home so much that we checked in with our travel agent to see if we would be able to come home a day early if we are finished, but it would cost us $600 plus any flight difference, so we will just enjoy one more night in our luxury apartment in Kiev :-).  We are so enjoying ourselves, but missing our kiddos more and more each day.  At least we'll get to see this kiddo for a bit on Monday!!!!

Thank you for all of your prayers - I told Clint that I wish we always had people praying for us like this - it has been (almost) beyond words.  For me, I don't think anything is truly beyond words ;-).  Our next post will most likely be Monday after seeing Sergey, so keep us in your prayers!!! LOVE, Jen

We are REALLY HERE!!!

I don't know if other people have those moments where you don't really feel like you are doing what you are actually doing.  I get them a lot with my kids - I look at them and wonder where they come from and who they are - since I usually still feel like I am in high school, not the MOM of a high schooler!!!  Anyway, this is DEFINITELY one of those times!!! I cannot believe I am typing on my computer in this gorgeous room, with the full-length balcony doors open, listening to the many sounds coming in from the main street below.  We are right in the heart of the city - we can stand on our balcony and look down and the see the barricades that were built just a few months ago!  We heard many warnings of what life could be/would be like here, but apparently God wants to just keep blessing us because we have had nothing but WONDERFUL!!!  (I do realize that we have not even been here 24 hours yet and lots of things could still be hard, but I just want to celebrate this for right now!!)

The view out of our kitchen and living room windows

We left on Tuesday afternoon, flew to Atlanta (fairly quick layover), then to Paris (5 hour layover!) , and then to Kiev.  We have decided that WHENEVER possible we will be traveling Air France - we had the most delicious meal, the folks taking care of us were so nice, and there was FREE BEER and WINE!!!  Could hardly believe I was eating penne with salmon and a creamed leek sauce, with a fresh roll, a quinoa salad, and my own little bottle of red wine, while watching a movie with Clint, while I was ON A PLANE!!!  We did have some pretty bad turbulence later on in the trip, but Air France can't control that :-).

We arrived yesterday at what was 3:30 pm local time.  One of the folks who works with our agency here, a delightful young Ukranian man named Alex, came and picked us up.  He drove us to our apartment, walked us to the grocery store, and showed us a place we could go for dinner.  The apartment is INCREDIBLE - so so beautiful, huge, and lovely.  Our whole family could easily stay here - I am so sad they are not with us :-(.

After settling in a bit, we ventured out for dinner, and went to a restaurant recommended by our friends who were here a while ago, when they were adopting Igor (from Sergey's same orphanage).  It was a little Mexican restaurant that had English as well as Ukranian on the menu, had a waitress who spoke a little English and smiled more than anyone I've ever met (she was SOOO sweet), and had $1 beers.  It. Was. Awesome.

By the time we got back to our apartment it was getting late, so we did a few emails, talked to the kids again, and then headed to bed.  Keeping in touch with them has been fantastic - we talked to them from each airport, and then again last night when we were at dinner. The time difference (6 hours) makes it a bit of a challenge, but we are going to keep trying to chat a bit each morning before they go to school, and then again after they get home from school, before we head to bed.  They all seem to be doing fine - in the middle of dinner last night Sam sent me a message asking where his jacket was.  That was hilarious to both of us - we are on the other side of the world and Sam is still wanting me to find his stuff.  Whoever marries Sam one day - you have been warned.

I guess we were tired enough from all of the travel (I didn't really sleep at all the whole way, and Clint just got in a few quick naps here and there) that we EASILY fell asleep and slept all the way through the night. Alex said he would pick us up at 10:30, and I thought we would definitely be ready way before that, but when our alarm went off to get up this morning, I was SOUND asleep and could easily have slept for much, much longer!!!

A view of our apartment building from the street

Alex drove us to the SDA office, where we waited around for a bit, and then were shown in for our appointment.  Everyone was very friendly, so that was nice :-).  We had a few minutes of worry, when they couldn't find his documents. Thankfully, they did eventually find them, we signed a few things, and then headed home.  Today we basically requested to get the form that we will pick up tomorrow, and then at some point this weekend we will take the overnight train to Odessa, where Sergey is.

We are not sure yet whether or not we will be staying in Odessa, or for how long.  Some other folks have taken the overnight train there, done their business, and then taken it back. We are hoping we will get to stay longer there, since we heard it is so beautiful as well.  We are basically just going where they tell us to go, so we'll find out later :-).

Today we spent some time just walking around the whole area where all of the violence occurred just weeks ago.  It was super interesting and pictures can't really do it justice.  There are still folks living in the tents, and there were people everywhere.  Obviously, there was no violence at this point, but there was so much evidence of it that it was easy to imagine what it had been like.

Tonight we had another LOVELY dinner in a place we just stumbled across as we were walking around.  They actually had English written underneath most of the Ukranian, and all of the folks that worked there spoke a bit of English and were happy to try to talk to us.  I am amazed at how kind everyone is here and how helpful they are - I didn't know what the general sentiment towards Americans would be at this point, but so far we have only encountered super friendly people.

The bar at the restaurant where we ate

One of the beautiful chandeliers they had hanging

Salmon cakes and mashed potatoes, and apple strudel for dessert :-).

One more thing before I head out - folks have been asking about the process from this point out, so for those of you who don't know, here it is:
     We will return to the US the night of April 3rd.  We will wait to be given our official court date, which is usually 3-5 weeks after you have filed your form.  As soon as we get that date, we will book tickets for Clint and I to fly back for court, at which point Sergey will officially become our son.  That trip should only be about a week or 10 days, I think.  Once we have our court appointment, we have to wait 10 days before we can pick him up from his orphanage, so we will both fly home.  At the end of the waiting period, my aunt Jeannie will go with me to pick up Sergey and then bring him to Kiev to do a few more things, like a TB test and pick up passport, etc.  When we leave after finishing all of that, we will be bringing him home!!!!

I know many of you don't really want/need to know all of these details, but I LOVE reading updates from others who are adopting, and we truly feel like all of you are in this with us, so we want to keep you up with what is happening :-). Please pray that when we travel to Odessa that Sergey would remain firm in his decision to be adopted.  Our agency has figured in an extra day or two in his region in case he changes his mind, to give us a chance to talk to him.  I am praying that will NOT be necessary - please pray for courage for him. I can't even imagine how scary this is - pray that God would give him peace and allow him to say yes!!!!! Thank you!!!!