2nd week report (and 3rd - OOPS!!!)

Well, so much for doing this every week - I had to fill out our 3rd week report and still hadn't written this second week one. Ok, I'll try to catch up :-).  I wrote last on Christmas Eve morning, so I'll start there.  That day was lots of fun - gorgeous weather and time together as a family. I spent much of the day finishing up wrapping presents, and we made one last minute run to Target all together for a few last-minute random things.  We had our Christmas Eve church service that afternoon, which was beautiful.  Harry read scripture, and both Sam and Harry lit the candles for everyone at the end of the service as we sang "Silent Night."  After we cleaned up from the service, we headed to my parents' house for dinner and a movie.  I decided that Sergey probably doesn't love watching movies since he can't understand most of it, so he and I stayed upstairs and played games with a few others while the movie went on downstairs.  It was another night of laughter, relaxation, and yummy food :-).

Christmas morning was fantastic - it was so fun thinking how very different it was from last year.  Last year we hardly knew Sergey, I didn't have any idea what presents to buy him, and we were completely uncertain as to whether we would ever see him again.  This year, I NAILED it on the presents (one in particular - a pullover warm-up jersey of his favorite soccer player that caused him to literally BEAM with happiness as soon as he saw it :-).  I loved hearing his sweet, sincere "Sank You" after each gift, and seeing the joy on his face.  He is still mostly very understated, but when he opened that one gift I think I got a little glimpse into what we will hopefully see more of in the future.  It was awesome :-).  It was also so comforting to know that we could buy him presents that we can keep here for him, knowing that he will be here to play with them before we know it :-).

After hanging out at home for a bit playing with our toys and gorging on breakfast casserole and cinnamon rolls, we went to my parents house for lunch and exchanging gifts with them.  Again, it was such a great time, and it was so great to see all the joy that came from the giving and receiving of gifts :-).  We played with all of our toys there, played more games, and delighted in a wonderful feast prepared by my mom.  It couldn't have been more perfect :-).

The day after Christmas we headed to the beach to spend a few days there with Clint's mom and step-dad.  We went to the same house last year, so again it was such a treat to compare this year to last year, and see how much more a part of our family Sergey is, how much more comfortable he is, and how much more it just feels perfectly natural that he would be here with us.  There was much anticipation as the 27th grew nearer - the day of the great Wallyball tournament of 2013.  Last year we entered the tournament and were the champions (the picture we took after we won is still the screen-saver on my phone :-).  I woke up nervous, knowing that we had a title to live up to and that if we lost there would be broken hearts everywhere in our house.  Thankfully, we were able to defend our title, and are the 2013 Corolla Light Wallyball Champions.  Clint, Sergey, Harry and I played, and everyone else cheered like crazy.  Clint's theory is that we will only get better every year for about 5 years or so, as Sergey gets older, faster and better, Harry hits puberty, and he and I only get incrementally older and slower. We'll see.

After our glorious victory, we spent the rest of the day playing and playing.  We played some pingpong at the Rec center, and then headed out to enjoy the beautiful day.  We played basketball, soccer, frisbee, ultimate frisbee, and just ran around on the beach.  The day ended with a breathtaking sunset, pictured below, a yummy dinner, and more games played with the family.  We all collapsed into bed around 11:30 and I did not even WAKE up until 10:00 am the next morning!!! I love vacation :-).

Our last full day at the beach was even more beautiful that the one before.  It was even warmer and sunnier, and we found a place to rent bikes.  We rode bikes, played basketball (I won TWO games of Knock-Out - my free throw was money), played ultimate, played hide and seek, and ran around on the beach.  We grilled up hamburgers for dinner, and then after dinner exchanged gifts and - you guessed it- played more games :-). It was such a delight to be with Clint's mom and Andy - they are such gracious hosts and in such a gorgeous house - could literally not have been better.  Sunday was super warm but rainy, so we went back to the rec center and played some Dowda v. Dowda wallyball, and swam in the pool.  After coming home to watch the Ravens play, we headed back to our real home.

I had forgotten this happening last year and last summer, but one of my favorite things about going away for a few days when Sergey is here is seeing his reaction when we get home.  I can tell how happy he is to be home - more relaxed, more comfortable.  It is a great feeling - hoping that will just increase over the months and years when he is here forever.

Monday was a banner day - our super close friends (much more like family than friends :-) the Barnes came to visit. They were on their way home from Charlottesville (Meda and I grew up together, and then we all went to Wake Forest together) back to Boston, and were going to stop in on their way home.  They decided a few days before that they would spend the night instead, and then once we had them here we managed to convince them to stay one more night and ring in 2014 with us.  It. Was. Awesome.  We played lots of games, rode dirt bikes, played basketball, rode 4-wheelers, went down the zip-line, played frisbee with the dogs (they had their yellow lab with them), went swimming, ate lots of bad food, and had the best New Year's Eve ever with some dear friends (where the adults had way more fun than the kids playing Reverse Charades).  There were even plans made for a beach week together this summer for all 4 families - so hoping that will come to fruition!!!

We said our sad good-byes to the Barnes on Wednesday - and then headed to the DC Zoo for the day! I grew up in Charlottesville but have never been - I have really been missing out!!! It was glorious - absolutely no traffic because of the holiday, hardly anyone else there, and tons of amazing animals.  At Chick-Fil-A on our way home we all tried to name our favorite but couldn't - there were so many that we loved.  The tiger puppies were definitely my favorite - so cute.  My favorite part about being there was how Sergey would run ahead and see something and then call "Jen, Jen!" and take me to see whatever it was.  It was such a wonderful treat to spend the whole day with our family - I absolutely loved it.  That night Sergey watched Home Alone 2 on the computer, dubbed over in Russian, and the rest of us watched "Christmas Vacation".  There was much laughter throughout the house all around :-).

Thursday the boys mulched the yard (everything is so much easier with Sergey here - he is crazy strong and an amazingly hard worker, so it goes much faster!!), and I did some catching up on work stuff (I am hosting a tennis camp for folks with special needs this weekend and it has been hard to fit in time to work on it).  That night, Olivia and I went with some friends to the premier of Downton Abbey down at the Byrd.  We stood in the rain for over an hour waiting to get in, and it was TOTALLY worth it - so much fun :-).

Friday was a day I had been looking forward to for months - our youth pastor had planned a trip to Jumpology just for middle and high school boys (and 5th graders thankfully, so Sam could go to).  I knew Sergey would love it, and man was I right :-).  I think the pictures speak for how much he loved it :-).  They went to Cici's for pizza afterwards, and Liv and I did some post-Christmas shopping and had a lovely afternoon together :-).  Clint's dad arrived that afternoon, and we had so much fun with him here.  He and Olivia made cookies, we bagged and delivered another full load of shoes, and we just enjoyed having him and his warmth and hilarious sense of humor with us.

The weekend was filled with basketball - both boys had games on both days, so we did a lot of cheering.  It is fun that Sergey is so competitive and even though he is pretty quiet during the games, he is so into it.  There were some close games, and it was fun to see him get excited (in his own VERY understated way).  Our "other son" Andrew Cook was with us on Saturday night, so with four boys in the house, chaos pretty much reined.  I think by Sunday morning Pa was probably ready to return to his peaceful life in York :-).  Being at church again was glorious - having him with us there always makes me feel deeply satisfied and whole in a way I can't explain.  Liv had a friend with her for the day, so after the last game on Sunday we headed in the cold rain to Cold Stone Creamery.  Of course.

Sunday night we had youth group, where they were going to play Capture the Flag.  I had assumed that Sergey would want to go, but he said he would rather stay home, even when I told him that we would do some Rosetta Stone! :-)  I think he was worn out (Saturday night was when he stayed up and did the decorating and writing in his room that I wrote about in the other blog post, so he was exhausted by this time).  It was wonderful after such a full weekend to have the house quiet and just enjoy some time with our two oldest (we put that youngest in bed quickly - he was definitely ready for it :-).  Clint also enjoyed the fact that the night ended with a WFU basketball victory over UNC - with the glory days of WFU basketball well behind us, that was a beautiful thing to celebrate for all of us Deacons :-).

Monday morning was SO early - I always say that I am going to wake everyone up a little earlier to get used to it, as we get closer to going back to school, but then I never do it, so Monday was quite the shock.  Clint worked from home so that I could go the class I love at the gym, and apparently Sergey didn't get up much before I returned at 10:30.  Emmanuel came over for lunch (our Ukranian friend who translates for us) and we talked some more about what life will be like when Sergey is here for good. We wanted to make sure that he understood a few things about rules/restrictions that he will have so he won't feel like he got the bait and switch, and he seemed to understand and be okay with them.  The fun part was seeing how much more of what we were saying to Emmanuel he understood without Emmanuel translating, and how I understood what he was saying one time.  He is always a bit uncomfortable when we have these talks - how could he not be with three adults staring at him like a firing squad. However, this time he seemed a bit more relaxed, which was a great thing.  I can't wait for him to tell us one day what it was like for him to have those conversations.  Of course, there are SO MANY things that I can't wait for him to tell us one day!!!

After we met with Emmanuel, we went to another ESL lesson with our friends.  He seemed to enjoy it, and she even said that once they are both here for good she will keep meeting with them, which is AWESOME.  When we went to pick them up, the teacher asked the other student a question about time and she was struggling to remember the words.  Sergey, who had already been standing a little behind her, leaned forward and quietly whispered the answer to her from behind, with a sneaky little grin on his face.  It was so cute - I always adore seeing the playful silly side of him come out.  We picked up Liv and came home, and the boys played basketball while I made dinner.  Monday night we all had different things - boys had basketball practice, I had Bible study, and Liv had a Hanover Youth Service Council meeting.  When we all reconvened back home we found out the glorious news that Hanover County schools would be opening 2 hours late (oh so sadly for Liv, Veritas opened on time :-( ).  The boys stayed up late and watched football in celebration :-).

Tuesday Sergey got up just after Harry got on the bus at 10 am, and we hung out here for a while and then met Clint at Burkwood.  Clint was going to run 3 miles on the treadmill, so Sergey went over and got on one as well.  He obviously has never been on one, and I would pay some serious money to have a video of it.  He caught on after a bit, but watching him crank it up faster and faster and FASTER while not really knowing what he was doing was both terrifying and hilarious.  I told him "you are going to be on America's Funniest Videos" and he laughed out loud :-).  We ran/walked (he did 3 miles like Clint), and then he did the weight machines while Clint and I stretched and did other exercises.  Clint headed back to work and Sergey swam for a while, and then we came home for lunch (where he whipped me at Farkle).  We picked up Sam, then Liv, then Harry, and then headed to the Fantastic Thrift (our most favorite store).  After getting home we had dinner and then Sam, Clint and Harry headed off to Sam's CCB basketball practice and Liv studied while Sergey and I worked on Rosetta Stone.  The kid is so smart - he is totally going to pick up on this whole English thing so quickly. I am so proud of him.  He spent some more time drawing, and then we all headed to bed (with the beautiful knowledge that today we had another 2 hour delay).

Which brings me to right now, and I need to head up and get breakfasts and lunches made and get these boys on their buses!!!  Have a great day!!!

God is GOOD - no matter what happens

I said after my last post that I would send out something each week summarizing our life over the previous week, and I actually started it last week, but haven't had a chance to sit down since then. I do hope to finish that post (and I guess at this point it will include two weeks :-), but at this point I would like to talk about something else that is brewing inside.

Years ago, when Clint and I decided we were ready to have kids, we just assumed that it would happen fairly quickly. It didn't, and the time that ensued between wanting to have kids and actually having Olivia seemed endless. And painful. And all around just not fun.  When I first saw that positive pregnancy test, I was breathless with excitement and joy.  I will absolutely NEVER forget telling Clint the news (in the parking lot of the Clifton House, for those of you who remember that place :-).  I was overcome with happiness and wanted to immediately tell absolutely everyone in the entire world that we were having a baby (and if there had been Facebook at the time I might have done so before I got control of myself :-).  However, as the afternoon went on, I started to think more and more about whether or not we really wanted to tell anyone.  I knew EXACTLY what our chances were of losing her, and the thought of that was so frightening to me.  At the time, I didn't think I could handle that loss being public, and so we decided to wait for a while to tell anyone but our closest friends and family (and even those we waited for quite some time to tell).

We had an experience a few days ago (I won't go into the details), where I was struck heavily with the reality that Sergey is not my son, and that he may never be my son.  There are still many things in the way, the largest being that he has to agree to the adoption (he has said yes to us every time we ask him here, but many times kids change their minds later, once they are in court and it is final).  Again, I won't go into all of the details about how real of a possibility it is for anyone adopting an older teen from Ukraine that the child will say no.  I'll just say it is a sadly large proportion.  As I lived the days following that realization, I thought about the fact that, unlike when I was pregnant with Olivia, we have already made our choice to let folks know about this adoption.  Possibly every person in the universe who has ever been on Facebook knows about our shoe drive and our Amazon link ;-).  If it falls through, it will be very public and everyone will know.

And what I realized then was very encouraging to me, and what I wanted to share with you.  I was grateful for that truth.  This whole process has felt SO very much larger than just Clint and I, or just the Dowda family, or even just our extended family and closest friends. We have been swept up into a tidal wave of love, support, encouragement, generosity, and kindness unlike any I could have imagined.  And whether we end up coming gently on shore and bringing home this sweet, sweet boy to be the 6th Dowda, or if the wave crashes hard and we end up coming home without him, I want to be in this with all of you.

This is easy to say right now, as he is lying on the couch drawing pictures. We have the fire on, the rest of the kids are in bed, and every time he finishes a picture he brings it over to show me with a huge grin on his face.  Just now he crumpled one up and gave me the cutest sheepish grin. Last night, he put up a poster on his door, that we gave him for Christmas.  He has started using a little more English, and when he writes the date at the bottom of his drawings, he is writing it in English.  These are small steps, but let me just tell you that they are also HUGE.  To me, they feel like small ways that he is trying to become part of our family, our family who so DESPERATELY wants him to come be a part of us.

However, it really is the truth that he might say no when we go to get him, so even in the midst of comforting beautiful moments like right now, I am telling myself over and over again that God is good NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.  Our worship leader reminded us of this at church this morning - if we only think He is good when good things happen, then God is just all over the place like us.  The truth, which I am going to continually remind myself, is that God is good ALL THE TIME.  It doesn't mean hard things don't happen (they DO).  It doesn't mean we can't be sad, or mad, or have deep deep feelings - we can and we should.  But it does mean that NOTHING happens outside out of God's will, and NOTHING happens that is not for our good.  He is our Shepherd, and we are his sheep.  Maybe I am writing this so I can go back and read it no matter what happens when we travel to Ukraine.  Who knows. Right now I just know that I am grateful that my circumstances do not control the goodness of God, or his love for me.  Or for you. Or for Sergey :-).

Corolla Beach 12/27/13

Week One Report :-)

While Sergey is here for the month, we are required to fill out weekly reports for our hosting agency: height, weight, likes/dislikes, new experiences, etc. They want to make sure that each of the children is thriving, and we have to regularly report in to let them know how the kids are doing.  As we arrive at one week today, I had the thought that doing a weekly report of my own might be a good idea, to be able to look back on as the years go by, to see where we have been, where we are going, etc.  I want to remember each and every experience we have - we missed almost 16 years and I want to remember everything from here on out.  At this point, I am thinking I will post these "reports" on here, as I know that so many of you are eager to know how things are going, and are such a deep, deep part of our love for Sergey.  If at some point it feels like these are too personal and that I shouldn't share, I will keep them private, but for now I'd love to share with you all how things are going.

We picked Sergey up from Dulles on Tuesday night. His plane was delayed by almost five hours, so it was quite late by the time we finally got to see him. Unfortunately, we were all (there were about 20 other families there picking up their host kids as well) at the wrong gate. By the time we realized this, the kids had already arrived and were walking down the main hallway.  Someone said that they saw them coming, and so I took off.  I will honestly never forget seeing his head peeking up above the crowd as they came towards us, looking for us, and then catching his eye and seeing the smile on his face.  I ran to hug him, and then let go so the kids (who were right behind me) could hug him as well.  We had to wait a few minutes for Clint, who was ensuring that we would actually make it home that evening by gathering up the wallets, keys, purses, etc. that we all had left when we took off running :-).  I am so grateful for my husband :-).  My heart was so full once Clint got there and we were all together - you can probably tell by the smile on my face in this picture taken moments later :-).

Together.

We checked in with the chaperone and then he was all ours for an entire month.  A month to love him, enjoy him, have fun with him, feed him, play with him, and get to know him better.  Sadly, though, there is always an undercurrent of sadness, at least for me.  It's also only a month.  A month at the end of which he will leave us again.  I keep trying to push that truth down, and most of the time I am successful, and able to enjoy this gift we have been given.  However, it peeks its ugly head up every once in a while, and threatens to steal my joy - I am praying hard for God to allow me to live in the moment and treasure each one for the gift it is. I think part of treasuring those moments will be writing these weekly blogs :-).

Getting into the car, as a whole family, felt right on so many levels.  Whenever he is here, it always feels like he has always been here, and it is almost impossible to imagine that one year ago we had never even met him.  He fit right back in, and as we turned on the Zac Brown Band on the way home, it honestly felt like he had never left.  I hope that is the case for him - that he feels at home, and feels the complete part of our family that he truly is.  I can only pray that is true.  The only struggle, beyond the knowledge that we only have one month, is the communication thing. Imagine that you have a child that you have sent off to college.  You go to pick them up for their visit home, but you can't talk to them and they can't talk to you.  You want to know everything about their time away - have you missed us? have you made friends?  how is school going?  tell me about your girlfriend, the food, your roommates, your teachers, the weather, anything and everything that you can tell me.  And let me tell you all about how desperately we  have missed you, how many people are doing everything they can to bring you here, how we think about you every minute you are not here.  How much we have been longing for this month, and even more so how much we are longing for the day when you are home for good.  And as you probably know, I am a talker, so this is especially hard for me ;-).  Pray for me - that I would be patient, and rest in the knowledge that we are all in God's hands, and that no matter what I can communicate to Sergey or what he is able to say to me, that God loves him more than I do or ever will.

Okay, on to the fun stuff :-).  We crashed as soon as we got home Tuesday night, and since it was past 1:00 am, we let the kids sleep in just a little later and then drove them into school.  We had a pretty chill day since it was just us at home. When we went to pick up Sam after school, it was so precious to see how crazy excited he was to see Sergey again (even from the night before).  He came running up to hug him, and was absolutely beaming.  On Thursday we went to have lunch with him at school, and got the same reaction.  I don't think I've ever before seen that particular combination of joy, excitement, and pride on my youngest son's face.  It was so beautiful.  His friends' parents (and sweet teacher) all told me how thrilled his friends were to see him at school - how Sam talks about him all the time and they were so excited to meet him.  It was so cute how several of them said that they were surprised at how he looked.  I think they all thought he would somehow look very different, but he really just looks like a Dowda :-).

Brothers :-).

We continued on our gathering route, and went to pick up Olivia at her school (Veritas, a private Classical Christian school down in the North side of the city).  She asked if Sergey would come and meet her friends as they were all heading to their cars, and her friends were so excited to meet him that Sam and I literally heard the yelling from our car :-).  Since she didn't start attending that school until this fall, no one there had ever met him, so it was super special for her to get to introduce them to her brother-to-be, and they were so thrilled.

We completed our route by picking up Harry at CMS, and all of his friends either ride the bus home or stay after for practice, so they would have to wait to see him again (although several did send notes of greeting with Harry to the airport :-).  Both Wednesday and Thursday after school were a glorious time of living life together - playing outside, making and eating dinner together, doing homework, reading our Advent readings, playing games, doing puzzles, and just being together.   Wednesday night we went swimming up at Burkwood, which was super fun.  Thursday after having lunch at CSES with Sam, we brought him home (with his teacher's blessing :-), and gave Sam a chance to have Sergey all to himself.  They played basketball, soccer, and frisbee, and then we all went up to Three Lakes Park and played there. The weather was gorgeous and we had such a great time - I cannot put into words what it does to my heart to watch these boys play together, and to watch Sergey start to really relax and enjoy himself.  He managed to tip the duck all way back to touch the ground (see below) - neither Sam nor I could get close :-).  He also did about a million pull-ups on the bar in about a minute, and threw a frisbee better than I can even though he had never done it before.  His sheer athleticism will truly never cease to amaze me, and if you have seen him play any sports you know what I mean.

Look at that effort :-).

Once Harry got home it was back outside for more basketball and frisbee, this time with our "other son" (our dear neighborhood friend), who was so happy to have Sergey back (as you can tell from the picture below :-).  Thursday night all the boys went to Sam's basketball practice and Olivia and I did the last minute shopping for school Christmas parties and then watched Downton Abbey. It was perfect :-).

Love.

Friday is Clint's day off, and we had the special privilege of having Vladimir for the day.  He and his sister are being hosted by friends of ours, and as they had to work we got to keep him for the day.  He and Sergey played FIFA on the Xbox (once Sergey finally got up :-), and had a great time together.  It was funny to see how teenage boys everywhere interact the same way - not much talking, lots of playing, and lots of love for video games :-).  Our friend Emmanuel came over to visit with us (he is a friend who we met when Sergey first came last year who moved here from Ukraine about 12 years ago, and is married to a wonderful woman and has two adorable little boys) to help us talk to Sergey.  I will not go into all the personal details that we discussed with him, but I will say that we talked about adoption a bit more and were very encouraged :-).  Sergey (despite having a girlfriend :-), definitely still wants to come live with us permanently, and said that his aunt is happy for him to come be a part of our family.  Again, not to go into too many details, but I will say that this is very good news and makes me super happy - we are praying that we will be able to keep up that relationship and allow him to have some strong ties to the beautiful nation that he was raised in, even as he comes to join us here.  Please pray for our relationship with her, that she would trust us and like us :-), and that it could be one of great blessing for everyone involved. I truly believe it will be.

After Emmanuel left, Clint took the boys to the pool and I went to Sam's Christmas party.  I think he was sad that I didn't bring Sergey, but I felt like it might be just a little too much.  For any of you who have been to a preschool or elementary school holiday party, that statement needs no explanation.  Clint instantaneously volunteered to miss the party and take the boys to Burkwood - I am certain that it is always just a little too much for him :-). I, on the other hand, LOVE them, and it was so fun to get to see all of my friends and all of Sam's friends. It was very hard for me to believe that it would be my last holiday party ever - they don't really do them in middle school or high school ;-) - so I tried to soak up every minute of it.  It's amazing to me how there are always doors closing and new doors opening in our lives all the time - life is such a mixture of sadness and joy.

The classic class party game, blowing a cotton ball across the room :-).

Friday Olivia went home with a friend, and went to her first dance/party at her new school. I was sad to miss out on seeing her get ready/take pictures/etc, but she had an incredible time and it was so fun to hear all about it.  Again, I think you can tell how much fun she had from the picture below :-).  At home, we bagged shoes and took them to the storage unit (I know, what a surprise :-), and had homemade pizzas for dinner.  After dinner we went up to Burkwood and played tennis and ping pong. I know I keep bragging on Sergey and his athleticism, but I promise I am not exaggerating when I tell you that he is the most natural tennis player I have ever seen in my life.  A sweet aside that some of you may not know: When you decide to host a child through New Horizons for Children (an experience that I will be SOOO "suggesting" to everyone I know, for the rest of my life ;-), you go to their website and there is a photo-listing of all the available children. There is a picture, and a quick bio, made up of just a few sentences.  When we were trying to make the decision, a little over one year ago, I was reading through the bios, looking at all of those sweet faces, wondering how on earth we would ever make this decision.  One of the things that the interviewers asked the children was "what would you like to learn?"  I got goosebumps all over when I read Sergey's - he said he wanted to learn tennis :-).  (For those of you who might not know, I teach tennis for a living :-).  I am pretty sure tennis is not super popular in Ukraine, and of all the things to pick it is so funny that he chose to say tennis.  And then even more funny that in about a year I think he will be teaching me :-).  Truly, though - you need to come see this kid play.  His topspin is beautiful, there is NO ball he cannot get, and you cannot get it past him at the net.  I officiated and the boys and Clint played doubles - it was so much fun.

My girl :-).

After tennis we went upstairs and saw that they put in ping-pong tables at Burkwood - SCORE.  Ping-pong is one of the things that Sergey has done before, and he is (as my boys would say) BEAST at it.  After having to watch other people play most of the night, I finally got my chance to play.  He beat me every game, but I did get pretty close a few times, and was very proud of myself.  Last winter when he was here we played a bunch when we were at the beach (pic below), and I forgot how much fun it was to play with him.  There is a level of communication that takes place when you play a sport with or against someone, especially when they are really good :-), that transcends language, and I LOVED it :-).

OBX Christmas 2012

Saturday we hung out here until it was time to go to the drive-in movie.  By the way, if you live in the Richmond area and have not been, you must go.  It is awesome.  We got there way early to make sure we got a spot, since we were going with our church's youth group and would have a bunch of cars.  There was a car-decorating contest, so we got right to work decorating the cars and playing soccer/disk-dunk/football.  It was 70 degrees out and just amazingly beautiful.  We had such a great time, watched Elf and Frozen, and WON the decorating contest (1st AND 2nd place!!!).  It was hard at times to see Sergey a bit on the outside, just because of the language barrier.  However, someone in our youth group won the contest last year, and used the gift certificate that she won to get us all in for free, as well as get popcorn for everyone.  We decided that this would now be a GCPC youth group tradition - we will go to the movie and win the decorating contest, and then use the gift certificate that you win to get everyone in the next year :-).  As I watched the movie and thought about this, I was encouraged to know that next year, Sergey will be right in there, chatting away with everyone else. Or, maybe not chatting away, but at least part of the mix ;-).

Goochland Drive-In CHAMPS!!!

Sunday morning Olivia, Harry and I went to the Hanover Arc Santa breakfast at Bass Pro Shops (who donates the breakfast for all Hanover Arc members - SUCH a cool thing!!). I was planning on taking Sergey as well, but it was so early and dark when we got up so I decided to let him sleep in. It was fun to get a chance to just be with Olivia and Harry, and to visit with our friends over breakfast.  We picked up Sam and Sergey for church, and were on time for church - for maybe the first time ever. I think he is a good influence on me :-).  It was wonderful to be worshipping with our church family, with my entire family together - probably the most "perfect" feeling moment I've had since he's been here.

After church, I took Sam to a University of Richmond basketball game with his travel team, where he got to meet Clark Kellogg, who happened to be there cheering on his son, a member of the University of Ohio team (and coincidentally the one who hit the three-pointer in overtime that won the game for them).  He was so kind to talk to the boys and sign their various items - Sam will now never let me wash that jacket :-).  Everyone here (including our "other son" Andrew Cook) went to a friends' house to watch the Redskins/Cowboys game.  Super glad Sam and I missed that.  Whew. It's been a hard year to be a Redskins fan.

Clark Kellogg with the boys of CCB

At UR Stadium.

When the game was over, they all came and met us at my parents' house.  My aunt Jeannie from Cleveland was here, and we enjoyed what were my most favorite moments we have had this trip.  While some folks watched football downstairs, Jeannie, Sergey, Sam and I (and later we traded Sam in for Olivia :-), played games.  We played for hours - we didn't even stop for dinner as mom ordered pizza delivered and then brought it to us as we played :-).  It was so fun to watch Sergey as he relaxed more and more (he loves playing games), to see him laugh, to see him celebrate when he won (which he almost always did because not only is he athletic he is crazy smart), to see him interact with the people I love.  Mom joined us after a while, and then by the end we had almost everyone upstairs involved in one big game of Old Maid.  My favorite part was when I picked the Old Maid from Jeannie, and tried to keep a straight face. I thought I had pulled it off until I met Sergey's eyes and he looked at me and then burst out laughing.  He knew I had picked it by looking at my face, and that encouraged me deeply to think that maybe he is able to pick up on more than I think, even without language.  It was a perfect, beautiful night of Sequence, Crazy Eight's, pizza, Farkle, and Old Maid, and we ended it off with the Christmas episode of "The Neighbors", Clint's favorite show (JUST kidding, honey :-).

Crazy 8's in front of the fire.

Yesterday we all slept in and then went up to Burkwood to swim.  They were playing Christmas music and we just had so much fun.  I love watching Sergey just PLAY, and swimming is one of his favorite things, so being at the pool is such a joy.  He, Harry, Sam and Cookie played basketball, volleyball, and all kinds of pool games.  Liv did the elliptical, Clint went for a run and then swam with them, and in between watching them I tried to put a dent in my enormously growing email inbox.  So sorry if you are one of the ones awaiting a reply - I didn't get far :-(.

Pool shenanigans.

As soon as we got home, Sergey and I headed out for his first official ESL lesson.  Some friends of ours who are hosting as well as adopting a 16 year old girl from Ukraine (with whom we will hopefully be traveling in March!!!!) were kind enough to include us on a lesson that a friend of theirs offered to give for free.  When I dropped him off, I felt the exact same way I did dropping the other three off for preschool.  I knew that it would be better for them and for me if I left (and the teacher definitely told me I should go :-), but I felt like my heart might get yanked out of my chest and stay attached to them as I left.  I explained to him what was happening the best I could and said good bye, knowing that it was good but definitely not feeling that it was good.  And just like when I came to pick up from preschool (at least for the first few weeks ;-), I was early and ready to get him, dying for him to come out of that door so I could see his face again and see if he was okay.  He did great, and we had him practice what he learned at the dinner table that night in conversations with the kids (which was hilarious of course :-).  So very grateful for that family including us in that huge blessing - and looking forward to having a few more before he heads back.

When the lesson was over, it was already 2:30 and we had not had lunch yet, so we were both hungry. ("Are you hungry?" "Yes, I am hungry" is one of the things he learned, so that worked out very well :-).  Actually, that is one of the few phrases that we all know in Ukranian - I got him to teach it to us very early on when he was here last year, so it's fun to think that we can all say the same thing in each other's language :-).  Anyway, I took him to the European Deli, which is owned by a Ukranian woman and is filled with Ukranian and Russian food (and people).  A friend told me about it recently, and Clint and I went by last week to introduce ourselves and tell them about Sergey. It was SOOOO fun to see him speaking to the ladies there, to see how much they liked him and to watch him pick out food that he was familiar with.  He actually did pick things out, which he usually will not, so that was really fun for me.  One of the things he picked out is pictured below - I have no idea what to do with it, so I am hoping he will. In the meantime, it is a great way to freak out anyone who goes in our fridge.   When we left one of the ladies gave him a bunch of treats for free - it was so sweet to see his cheeks blush a bit as he said "thank you" in Ukranian :-). Man, that kid is cute :-).

This. Is in my refrigerator.

We were STARVING by this point (they usually serve lunch there, so I was planning on us eating there, but she said that today they were not), so we went next door to Arby's and had some sandwiches and curly fries. Yummy.  I put a tic-tac-toe app and checkers app on my phone, and we played those while we ate.  He thrashed me in checkers, but I actually won more games of tic-tac-toe. Apparently that might be the only thing I will be victorious in, so I am going to keep that app on my phone forever :-).

After getting all hyped up on junk food and sweet tea (me) and Pepsi (him - although he told me he really likes Coke :-), we went to go buy him some shoes. He did actually come in a tennis shoe type of shoe this time, but the sole is already coming away from the bottom.  We went to the Burlington Coat Factory on Broad Street, so that we could just try them on ourselves. I was hoping he would tell me which ones he wanted, but as usual he deferred to me, so I picked some sweet Nike's that I think/hope he likes :-).  His feet have grown quite a bit since he was here last time, so I think he might get much taller than we had thought :-).  On our way to the check out counter he paused by a table with perfume on it and looked at it.  I realized that he probably wanted to get a present for his girlfriend, and he said he did :-).  I told him that I would take him shopping once the kids are back in school after Christmas, and he was good with that.  While we were standing there, he sprayed some cologne on his wrist, and then proceeded to smell it for the next twenty minutes.  This made me laugh, because Harry is the one in our family that he is the most like, and Harry smells EVERYTHING that he picks up.  It is such a wonderful thing to think that there are family resemblances that transcend biology or genetics.  We stopped by Target to pick up a few last minute things, and had to run through the rain and puddles to get to the door.  He took very good care not to get his shoes wet, and is always careful to take good care of his things, another way that he is just like Harry :-). Those are the kind of things that are like little gifts, every day.  God is so good :-)

We came home and he played games with the boys while I wrapped presents.  After dinner we got our hot chocolate and went on our annual tacky light tour.  I can't even imagine what he thought of it, but I hope he enjoyed it :-).  Once we got home we watched an episode of "America's Funniest Videos", a show that obviously transcends language :-). and then headed off to bed.  Which brings me to now - sitting on the couch in front of the Christmas tree lights typing this while all the males in our house are still asleep (Liv is upstairs enjoying rare free reign of the TV remote :-).  I know this ended up being super long, but I realized as I was writing it that it was already hard to remember what we did last week, and I just don't want to lose one minute.  I am thankful that God woke me up early this morning to write this, and I am going to try to do it every week, to hold on to these moments we have. And it is a LOT more fun to write about him when he is upstairs and not on the other side of the world :-).  If you are still reading - WOW I am impressed - thanks for the love :-).

Leaving the Three for the One

I have been doing everything I can to put off writing this blog post, but I have a completely free morning now that our tennis classes are over, and so I think I need to just do it.  The reason I don't want to do it is because I know I will end up an emotional wreck, and I'd rather not go there. At least by starting at 10:00 am I have time to pull myself together before the kids come home :-).  So here is the deal: I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE MY KIDS to go to Ukraine to get Sergey.  It's like this deep, deep dread that has been steadily growing, ever since we first started seriously talking about adoption. At one point we were pretty close to adopting a 10 year old girl from Ethiopia, and right when we were getting ready to make the jump and start the process, Ethiopia changed their policy to require two trips in order to adopt instead of just one.  We were certain that, at that time, we could not make that work (for lots of reasons), so we pulled out.  I remember knowing with such certainty at the time that we could not possibly make two trips, even if they would be fairly short.  After that, we made sure to only look at countries where you were only required to make one trip.  Soon after that is when we decided to take a break from actively pursuing adoption, because it was really taking a big emotional toll and I just couldn't do it anymore.

When we decided to host, we were not planning to adopt, so we didn't really look into Ukraine's requirements.  We just agreed to have this young man in our home for one month.  After we sent him back and knew that we wanted him here forever, we started looking more into what the adoption process would really look like.  And at that point, the dread started to really grow.  I kept looking for best case scenarios, folks who went for two fairly quick trips and were home pretty easily.  As the months have gone on, those have gotten almost non-existent.  Families have been there for longer and longer times.  It is now looking like we will more than likely be taking three trips, and one of them has the potential of being quite long.  One woman who is in Ukraine right now (her other children and her husband left a while ago and she is waiting in Ukraine with her adopted daughter for the process to be completed) posted this on her Facebook this morning: "Was hoping to get home next week, but as per usual, bureaucracy is slowing things down. I'm pretty much without hope at this point. I feel like I will just be living here forever. Tired of getting hopes built up for nothing." When I read this, I felt like I was going to throw up.  

I won't go into all the details of why the leaving is so hard for me, and I don't want to sound like Mr. Whiner.  There is an actual reason why I am sharing all this - well, maybe a few reasons.  The first is that I would LOOOVE your prayers around this issue.  Even now, as what feels like a literal physical something inside of me continues to grow, that God would bring me peace and freedom from anxiety and dread.  I KNOW it will be okay, I know that my kids here will be fine, I know that it is all worth it, but it is just really hard for me, so I would really appreciate your prayers, even now. The fact that I am now having a hard time seeing the screen because of the constant flow of tears is a good indicator of how deep and strong this is inside of me :-). 

The other main reason I want to share this is to encourage all of us by what God has been teaching me in the midst of all this.  I was with a dear friend the other day, praying with her as she is facing some brutally tough issues in her own life.  I had been sharing with her about our decisions as to how many trips to take, who should travel, etc., and so she prayed for me.  The phrase she used that has truly NOT left my mind since then (and this was over two weeks ago) was praying that God would be with us, as we "leave the three to go get the one."

Some of you know that Clint and I lead a group called Young Life Capernaum, which is for young folks with disabilities.  We started about 6 years ago, and it is the greatest thing that you could even possibly imagine.  A few years ago we started a Sunday School class at our church for some of these friends, and it is the highlight of my Sunday morning (obviously second to the preaching of my husband ;-).  The Sunday previous to praying with my friend, we had been learning about the story that Jesus tells about the shepherd who left his 99 sheep to go find the 1 lost sheep.  We always act out the Bible stories at Campaigner's, and so we had one of our friends play the part of the lost sheep. We meet at Chickahominy Middle School, in the very back corner.  As my friend started off on her hands and knees as a sheep leaving the flock, we turned our attention to the shepherd and continued to read the story. We had all assumed the sheep would just go away a little bit and wait for the shepherd, but that was not the case :-) (and those of you who know our friends know who this is :-).  She had gone completely around the entire hallway and was far away by the time the shepherd went after her. For some reason our friend who was playing the shepherd thought he needed to shuffle his feet instead of walk, so he sets off, in Clint's long black robe, shuffling along the halls at CMS.  We all looked at each other, and I wondered if he would actually get her. Would we need to intervene and go bring her back? Would we have to go find both of them and bring them back? 

Eventually the shepherd shuffled all the way to find the sheep and brought her gently back to the fold.  As they slowly shuffled/crawled down the long last hallway to us, I was so struck by my own desire to tell them to hurry up. Here the rest of us are, sitting here just waiting as you shuffle down the hall way. We have to finish the lesson, have time to pray, and be out to meet the parents in just a few minutes. I could tell Clint was having the same reaction, and even a few of the other participants as well.  I didn't really think much of it at the time, and it wasn't until my friend made that comment in her prayer that day that I started REALLY thinking about what it means that Jesus goes after his lost sheep, that He came after me and continues to come after me when I wander like my friend crawling away down that long hallway.  And then I went one step deeper, thinking about what He left to be able to come get me. He was in a PERFECT relationship, PERFECT fellowship with his Father, and had been in that FOREVER.  But to save us, to save ME, He left his Father. When He hung on the cross with my sin on him, He was separated from his Father for the first time in all of eternity.  Sometimes when I think about that, I downplay it in my mind, thinking "Yes, but he was Jesus, so he knew that he would eventually be reunited with his father.  He was parted for a time, but knew that it was only for a time, so maybe it wasn't really that bad."  And here is where the tears really started to flow, when it struck me that I am only leaving my three kids here for a short time. I know I will be reunited with them.  And yet it is still so hard for me that I honestly feel like I just can't do it.  It was infinitely harder than that for Jesus, yet He was faithful, and for the love of US and for the love of ME he did it.  And because of the love I have for Sergey, I will do it. I will leave my three here, and I will go after the one. 

I am praying that as I sit in the airport getting ready to leave each time, I will understand maybe just one more tiny glimmer of what it was like for Jesus as he prepared to face the cross. OBVIOUSLY it is a million, billion times different, but as I strive each day to really believe more and more that Jesus loves me, I think understanding even a bit more how hard it was for him to do what He did, and the fact that he did it because of his love for us, will be a wonderful thing.  And I think I will also picture my shuffling shepherd friend and his little lost sheep.  They were not in a hurry.  The sheep knew she was heading home, that she had been found by her shepherd. The shepherd knew he was bringing her back to the fold.  I don't need to be in a hurry to get everything done in Ukraine and get back here.  Eventually, we will make it back, and the one will be back with the rest of us.  And in the midst of my fear, doubt, anxiety, and more fear, The Shepherd will be there for me, leading me .  Please pray that I will know that deep, deep in my soul. I pray that for the sweet mama and her girl who are there now, eager to return to their fold. And I pray that for all the folks out there, eager to bring their sweet ones home, and that all the lost little ones out there would be brought home soon.

So fun that my Bible Study homework for last night was to look up these verses about the shepherd who loves us.  Read these and be encouraged :-).


Matthew 9:36 - "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd."

Psalm 23:1-3 - "The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name."

Isaiah 53:6 - "All of us, like sheep, have strayed away.  We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all."

1 Peter 2:24-25 - "He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.  Once you were like sheep who wandered away. But now you have turned to our Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls."

Ezekial 34:11-16 - "For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself will search and find my sheep. I will be like a shepherd looking for his scattered flock.  I will find my sheep and rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on that dark and cloudy day.  I will bring them back home to their own land of Israel from among the peoples and nations. I will feed them on the mountain of Israel and by the rivers and in all the places where people live.  Yes, I will give them good pastureland on the high hills of Israel.  There they will lie down in pleasant places and feed in the lush pastures of the hills.  I myself will tend my sheep and give them a place to lie down in peace, says the Sovereign Lord. I will search for my lost ones who stray away, and I will bring them safely home again.  I will bandage the injured and strengthen the weak."

John 10:11-15 - "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep.  A hired hand will run when he sees a wolf coming.  He will abandon the sheep because they don't belong to him and he isn't their shepherd.  And so the wolf attacks them and scatters the flock. The hired hand runs away because he's working only for the money and doesn't really care about the sheep.  I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my life for the sheep."

How You Can Help :-)

We have had a request to make a page that makes it very clear how you can help us afford our $42,000 adoption of 15 year old Sergey, pictured below (he's the one in the gray shirt, and this picture is from when we hosted him for a month this summer).  Here are the two biggest things you can do right now, and if you ever want to just donate directly, you can just click on that button to the left that says "donate" and it will take you to a paypal page where you can donate :-).

1.  SHOES SHOES SHOES!!!! We are working with an organization that will actually pay us for USED shoes!!! The shoes will go to several different poor countries to help the folks there, and we will receive $10 for every 25 pounds of shoes we gather.  ANY KIND OF SHOES, ANY CONDITION.  You can bring them to our home at 10052 Rinker Drive, Mechanicsville, VA 23116 and stick them in the old blue Suburban that is always parked at the top of the driveway :-). We have already made almost $3000 from this drive - THANK YOU SO MUCH to those who have already donated!!!

2.  SHOP SHOP SHOP!!!!! If you buy ANYTHING on Amazon, and you click on our link before you shop, we will receive 7% of your purchase price, at no extra cost to you, and it is completely anonymous.  MAKE SURE TO CLICK BEFORE YOU SHOP - if there is anything already in your cart before you click on our link, it will not work. Nothing will look any different when you shop, but IT WORKS!! We have already raised over $6000 through this simple link - THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!  THE LINK IS: www.playtennishanover.com/amazon.  If you click on the picture of the 6 of us at the top left corner of this page, it will take you directly there as well :-).

We would be SOOO grateful if you would be willing to share this with your friends/neighbors/co-workers/family.  The wider we can spread the word, the more quickly we can get to our goal.  If you want to learn more about Sergey and our journey to bring him home, please click on "Our Story with Sergey" over on the right side of the page, under "Blog Archive". If you'd like to receive an email when we post a new update, just put your email address over in that box on the right :-).

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS and for HELPING US!! WE ARE SO GRATEFUL!!!

Is the kid worth it? (and another shoe update :-)

A few days ago I had an interesting interaction that I have been pondering ever since.  As some of you know, completing a dossier involves almost the amount of meetings/notarizing/appointments/paperwork/driving/WAITING/signing your name as I would imagine it would take to form a small new country.  Thankfully, my dear husband is MUCH more gifted at these type of things (please read "I am too lazy and think it's too boring, and thankfully he is kind and willing to do it"), but I have participated in a few steps along the way as well. One of these involved getting something re-notarized because when it was done the first time, the notary didn't quite form her "3" correctly and wrote over it a little bit. When we sent it in to our agency, they said we needed to have it done again.  It does seem a little crazy (everything has to be done JUST SO), but I guess we have just gotten used to it by this point.  When I went in and told her what had to be done, she looked at me like I was crazy.  And then when she signed her name with her middle initial instead of her middle name (her notary has her full middle name, not initial), and I asked her to do it again, she really started to get quite annoyed. Again, I can totally understand, and I just apologized and waited for her to do it again.  As she finished signing, she looked up at me and said (with a disdain only those in their 20's can really perfect), "Is the kid worth it?"

I smiled and thought of his sweet face, and said, "yes, he is."  I knew she didn't really want a real answer, but a big part of me wanted to tell her all of the AMAZING. WONDERFUL. INCREDIBLE. things about our sweet boy.  How he can light up a room with his shy smile.  How he can run so fast you would not even believe it.  How he can house a plate of food like you have never seen.  How he concentrates so hard to beat me in any game we are playing.  How sweet his voice sounds when he says "good night."  How he always insists on sharing with all of us anything he is given.  How much fun he had boogie boarding with Clint in the ocean this summer. How he rolls his eyes when I make him and my other boys put on collared shirts for our annual Christmas pictures at the beach, but then does it anyway.  How he falls soundly asleep almost instantly and sleeps so peacefully. How he ADORES our dog Tober.  How he is insanely fearless and crazy brave.  How he caught a catfish with his BARE HANDS.  How he loves to cook. Loves to play soccer. Loves to play games.  Loves to be with us.

OBVIOUSLY this young woman did not care about all of these things, so I just thought about them to myself as I drove to my next destination.  But what stuck with me as I really thought about it as the day went on was the question itself, "Is he worth it?" What she meant was, is he really worth all of this you are going through?  She only saw a teeny, tiny bit of the picture - one form that had to be re-notarized.  But there is a larger picture here as well.  Is he worth having your home overrun by old shoes? Is he worth posting so much on Facebook, asking people for things, that by the end of this adoption you might be unfriended by everyone you know?  Is he worth feeling pushy and uncomfortable as you tell folks at lacrosse/basketball/school/the store about the shoe drive and the Amazon link, and knowing that some of them just want you to go away?

Then a little deeper - Is he worth the heartache that we are all enduring as we say goodbye time and time again, and wait and wait until we see him again? Is he worth all of those many tears, by every member of our family?  Is he worth the time and energy that is being taken away from raising that family, by fundraising and completing our dossier now, and loving and raising him once he is here?  Is he worth the money that we will spend on him once he is here, feeding him, clothing him, getting English tutors, sending him to soccer camp, paying for all kinds of things that might be necessary to help him heal from what his life has been up until now?

And then, even deeper, where it really hits home - Is he worth leaving my kids here for a long time to go get him, when it is super hard for me to just leave them for the weekend and go to Myrtle Beach?  Is he worth the risk of what could happen to them, to us, once he is here?  Is he worth the unknown of all the things that we have been warned about could happen once he is home for good?  Is he worth upsetting the peaceful, happy, very-comfortable-and-super-amazing life that the Dowdas are living right now?

And the honest answer is, I don't know.  I do not know what our future holds. I don't know whether or not he will say yes or no when the judge asks him if he wants to be adopted by us. I don't know if we will come home without him.  If he says yes (which we think he will, don't worry - he's already told us yes several times :-), I have no idea what will happen when he comes here to live for good.  From all the books I have read, I do not think it will be the everything-works-out-perfectly and everyone-is-super-happy ending that I know that I have planted deep in my heart and in my head.  No one really knows what it will be like.

But here is what I do know. I KNOW that God has chosen US to love this boy. I have no doubt of that. NONE.  NONE AT ALL. (well, most of the time I don't ;-).  And how, you ask, do I know?  I know because when I saw his bio from New Horizons, he said he wanted to learn to play tennis. I know because he looks like he could be Liv's twin brother.  I know because he loves to play games. And he loves to win.   I know because I can tell how he feels about our other three kids, and how he feels about us.  I know because he doesn't like to talk much, and between me and Sam there isn't much more room in our house for more talking.  I know because when I am with him, I just know.

And then there is - the shoes.  When I start to doubt at any point, I just think about the shoes.  We receive this email out of nowhere, about how we can get money for our adoption through used shoes. I start posting about it, and send out an email.  Almost immediately, we start getting shoes.  We get a storage unit donated, that is a mile from our house.  People we have never met are collecting shoes at places we have never heard of.  Everywhere I go, everyone I talk to, tells me some amazing story about a connection they made, or someone they heard of who is collecting shoes.  We have friends in other cities collecting them, friends in other cities sending them to us.  Friday night the boys and their friends sorted about 40 bags (thank you friends :-). Then by Monday the Suburban was filling up so I sorted about 15 more.  By Tuesday the Suburban was filling up, and by Wednesday there was literally not one more inch open in it.  Today I have received 7 different messages from folks who are bringing them by today - and some of them are bringing a LOT.  I feel like at this point I would not be surprised if I opened my door and they just started falling from the sky.  It feels THAT INCREDIBLE to me. THAT MIRACULOUS.

It just feels like God saying "Have no doubt. He is worth it. I picked you for him."  Every pair of shoes feels like confirmation. Every time I open the Amazon account and see how it continues to grow. Every time someone orders a 31 bag.  Every $15 that was donated last week.  Every time someone shares our link on Facebook. Every. Time.  It feels like God saying, "Yes. He is worth it."

SO, please oh please oh PRETTY PLEASE know how much each one of you is a part of what we are doing.  PLEASE know how desperately grateful we are to you.  Not only are you financially helping us bring him here, but you are the arms of God, hugging us and reassuring us, "He is worth it."  And ultimately, it all comes back to Him (with a capital H), right?  Because WE WERE WORTH IT.  He came to this earth.  "He left his Father's throne above, so free, so infinite his grace. Emptied himself of all but love, and died for Adam's helpless race." We were helpless. We were orphans.  We were alone.  And He came and rescued us, brought us home, brought us to Himself. There was nothing in us that made us worth it, but because of who He is, He believed that we were, and He came.  Thank you, God for coming for us, and thank you that you are allowing us to come for Sergey. Please provide families to come for each and every child who doesn't have a home.  Please allow more families to have this amazing blessing that we are experiencing.  You are so good.

What these shoes are REALLY going to do

(PLEASE read to the end - the best story is last :-).  As many of you know, we are now completely ensconced in used shoes.  They are on our porches, in our cars, on our driveway - everywhere we turn there are smelly, old, dirty, getting-rid of shoes.  But EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. feels like love to me.  I knew when I read about this fundraiser that it was going to be awesome (hopefully not in the way that I KNEW that the ladies night out roller skating with our church was going to be awesome - I am still shocked that hardly anyone wanted to go, and it permanently bruised my confidence in knowing what people want, but anyway...).  Thankfully, I WAS right, and it has far exceeded even my very optimistic expectations.  We have gotten LOTS of shoes.  And hope to keep getting more as long as we have this storage space!!

Obviously I know that there are shoes out there that people don't want anymore - everyone has at least a few pairs in their closet.  It doesn't seem surprising that they would bring their unwanted shoes to us.  What I was totally unprepared for was how excited everyone would be to help us - really, really help us.  Folks we don't know that well (or even know at all!) are telling their friends about us, sharing it on Facebook, putting boxes on their porches for collecting, gathering up shoes from their gyms, their clubs, their workplaces, their schools.  People are setting up collection boxes, handing out flyers, giving out bags, spreading the news everywhere they go.  In their eagerness to help, it almost feels like they are getting something FROM us rather than giving something TO us.  It has completely blown my mind and brought me to tears more times than I would like to admit.  If you want some beautiful examples of how people have loved us, just ask me the next time you see me - I literally have new ones every day.

What I wanted to talk about for a few minutes was something that a sweet friend said to me the other day.  I was at a local church dropping off a collection box.  A woman I don't know super well (I teach her kids tennis) had contacted her church to see if they could put a box in their hallway. The church agreed, and now also has put up flyers on their bulletin board and included us in their weekly email and their newsletter. (SEE??? This is what I am talking about.)  Anyway, I dropped by to put up the box, and a group that had been meeting there was just finishing up.  (As an aside, two friends that were there who had no idea I would be there saw me and said - Oh, I have shoes for you!! - and ran out to their cars to get them. SEE????).  I stopped to chat to this sweet friend who I don't get to see very often but has been so kind and supportive all along during this process.  We were talking about the whole shoe thing, since she saw me putting up the box, and she said that as she saw all the ways that God was providing for us to bring Sergey here, she thought "Wow.  I can't even imagine what God has in mind for Sergey.  He must have great plans for him."

Now it is a bit awkward to admit this, but I don't think I've really spent much time thinking about Sergey's future.  I am so fixated on the present - the fundraising, the paperwork, etc, that I just can't even imagine what it will be like when he is here. Or if I do think of that, I think in terms of how fun it will be to take him to soccer camp next summer and introduce him as my son, and bring him home each night knowing that he will not be leaving again. What I don't really think about much is what the rest of his life is going to look like.  Obviously we do not know what God holds in store for any of us, even tomorrow, or even in the next hour, so trying to figure out what Sergey's future will look like is not productive.  However, thinking that God has such great plans for Sergey that He would do so much for us to get him here - to bring us tons and tons of shoes, to place in the hearts of folks the desire to help us in this way, to allow so many people to fall in love with this boy for reasons they don't even know - that is mind-blowing (and caused me to cry the entire way home, which, by the way, I have decided is not such a safe way to drive).

God is about setting the lonely in families, about loving orphans and widows, about caring for the least of these.  But to think that He has great things for THIS one boy, this sweet soul who is going to be part of our family in just a matter of months - that almost takes my breath away.  I am not saying that I know he will necessarily do great things in the way people normally think of great things (amazing doctor, famous lawyer, brilliant surgeon, world-changing politician), but in the exact way that God has planned for him.  To think that no one else besides our Sergey can do what God wants done - that He is bringing Sergey to us to glorify Himself, not just to save him from an orphanage or life on the streets in Ukraine, is almost more than I can handle.  It is so humbling, encouraging, amazing, breath-taking, to think that our family gets to take part in plans that originate in heaven.  To know that we will get to watch as the future unfolds for this young man - no words.  Grateful that you all will be there watching with us. :-).

OK, PS.  You know I couldn't end without telling you at least one more story. As I was typing this up my phone rang with a number I didn't know.  It was a woman who got our flyer through Harry's travel lacrosse team.  We have never met her and her son isn't even actually even on the team yet - they are in the middle of tryouts.  And her son is in high school, so he and Harry would never even play together anyway.  She went to a yard sale that her son's school was having and asked for all of the shoes that were not sold, bagged them up, and has them to bring to me. THEN she tells me that she told her Bible study about us on Wednesday and that they all wanted to participate.  She asked me to send her an electronic copy of the flyer, so she could send it out to her friends.  I just now flipped over to check my email and she has already sent something out to the 50 ladies in her Bible study group, a beautiful email full of truth from the Bible and the details of our fundraiser, with the flyer attached.  So now there are 50 more people who have heard of Sergey, might be praying for him, might meet him one day.

OK one more.  As we were unpacking the shoes tonight, several of the bags had these cute pink flyers attached (see below).  I read one, and saw what a friend of a friend had done (a woman I have still never met, we just recently became friends on Facebook through a mutual friend).  She brought over tons of bags yesterday, from this drive that they did at her school - a bunch of 4th grade girls apparently called the "Giggles Girls" got together and gathered up shoes for us.  People we don't even know.  For us. For Sergey.

OK one more.  Then I'll stop - I promise.  Our dear friend told her family in Ohio about our fund.  Her aunt drove her car ALL THE WAY FROM OHIO completely jam packed with shoes, hundreds and hundreds of them.  Her little seat where she drove was like a little pocket, and everything else was jammed.  They pulled up as we were bagging shoes tonight (I had no idea they were coming), and I got to hug her and try desperately to keep from sobbing.  She mentioned in passing that she didn't have a lot of air as she was driving - and considering that is was about 100 degrees today I just can't believe that. A woman I have never met drove so far to love a boy she's never met, with a car full of love from Ohio.  How is that possible.